Today's ghastly groaner

- This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.

- I know a guy who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

- A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

- I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

- Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

•••

Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send us your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to Maureen Dolan at mdolan@cdapress.com.