Today's ghastly groaner

Wordplay

- Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

- I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

- England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

- A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

- A will is a dead giveaway.

- Police were summoned to a daycare center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

•••

Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send us your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to Maureen Dolan at [email protected].