The eyes have it!

Editor’s Note: Business columnist Nils Rosdahl is taking a two-week break from his Business Bits column. This is the first of a two-part story offering topics from the class he gives at national College Media Association gatherings.

By NILS ROSDAHL

Staff Writer

Using non-verbal communication is useful for more effective writing and interviewing. I’ve compiled this information from many sources over many years, and this topic has generated more positive feedback than any other I’ve offered in my 27 years of teaching journalism.

Here we go:

Research has shown that 68 percent of human communication is nonverbal. And this expands to 93 percent in first impressions. This 93 percent is especially important when you realize how many interviews are first-time meetings. And this is really, really integral for job interviews. Keep aware that there are two sides to the table; you’re giving off nonverbal impressions yourself just as you’re interpreting it from the other person.

We use this data to make an interpretation and form a conclusion. People remember the interpretation and the conclusion, not the data (unless it’s in the form of a spoken story). First impressions result in a stereotype. Stereotypes are not fair, but they’re usually true; that’s why people use them.

Remember, you too are providing the other person with a first impression of yourself. So you need to enhance your positive aspects and diminish the negative ones — especially if you’re interviewing for a job.

So, here’s where a definition is necessary: Effective communication is when the receiver receives the message in the same way that the source intends it.

Communication is intentional and unintentional, You can never not communicate. If you try to not communicate, you’re communicating that you’re trying to not communicate. Hmmm, good communicators are intentional or so automatic with their good communicating that it becomes non-intentional. They can manipulate the nonverbals to make good first impressions.

Since 93 percent of communications in first impressions is based on nonverbal communications, let’s look at what non-verbals comprise and what we can control. Just as important, a reporter can use this in his/her writing, adding active, colorful detail to make the people and the situation/place more real life.

We’ll go through the Areas of Nonverbal Communication in outline form.

1. BODY LANGUAGE (Kinesics)

A. Gestures. We use 700,000 of them. Just for starters, think of each finger, combinations of fingers, the direction they point, the action they do and the speed and/or repetition. Then add the wrist, forearm, arm, etc. Now add all the different cultures, ages, ways to interpret. Whew!

One item I actually remember from a preachers’s sermon was how you can point a finger at someone, and then you had the rest of the fingers on that hand and you’re reaching out to them.

B. Body Movements. They have to be positive and not distracting, especially in a job interview.

1. Shaking hands: warm hands, cold-fish, bone-crusher, cultural. Grasp the hand tendon to tendon, firm, a one-second shake with good eye contact. The person with the power should initiate it, but if he/she doesn’t, go ahead. If an interview goes great, end it with a two-handed shake: After you clasp right hands, you put your left hand on the other person’s forearm. People really remember that.

Several years ago my brother-in-law was a college track coach. A very athletic, handsome fellow, he was hit hard by multiple sclerosis and in a wheelchair. But he still coached for a few years. His right arm/hand were really affected so he had little feeling in them. I went to a track meet where he had invited high schools athletes he was recruiting and their parents. When he met them, he shook their hand normally, but he added his left hand to touch their forearm so he could physically feel them. This action was such a nice touch (pun intended) that the touched person just “lit up” like an electrical circuit was complete. I’ve never forgotten how positive it was/is.

2. Other body movements include fidgeting, preening hair, folding your arms, scratching your butt, shaking a leg, clicking a pen, adjusting tie, picking your nose. Well, you may refrain from some of these.

Sometimes they can be painfully humorous. Once my NIC department chair called me into her office to go over student comments in class evaluations. One co-ed wrote, “I love the way his butt wiggles when he writes on the board.” Since then, I’m Mr. Iron Buns.

It can be cultural. Once we were in the waiting room of the office of a Philippine person who was to interview us regarding the potential adoption of our son. I had one foot resting sideways on my other knee when the secretary came close and whispered to me: “Don’t sit like that with the Social Affairs Minister; it’s very impolite to show someone the bottom of your foot.”

3. Mirroring. When the other person moves or changes positions, you do it also, very subtly. If they lean forward, you lean forward. People subconsciously are pleased when you “mirror” them. But don’t be obvious in doing it.

C. Posture. This indicates how you feel about yourself. Think of actress Audrey Hepburn with her chin up and shoulders back. Shy people have their shoulders down. Moving forward shows you’re interested. Don’t move too forward or too fast. Don’t slump in your chair. Don’t lean away.

D. Facial Movement. The face is the strongest indicator of nonverbal communication. Show that you’re interested. Be aware of both sides of the table.

E. Eye Behavior. The eyes are the strongest indicator on the face. Think about winking, blinking, a sideways look (flirt), rolled eyes, glaring, the stink-eye, evil eye. Then add all you can do with the eyelashes and eyebrows. Shifting of eyes shows a lack of interest. These can be cultural. Include them in your writing to make the person real.

F. Eye Contact. This makes people feel important. It shows you’re listening. It indicates trust and confidence. Eyes are “the windows to the soul.” Don’t overdo it or people feel uncomfortable. It can be cultural. In Native American culture, the elder initiates the eye contact. When talking to a group, try to make contact with each person in the room at least once. It makes them feel like “he’s talking to me.” After a while, it can become automatic for a speaker.

G. Physical Characteristics. What you look like and the movements involved height, weight, shapes, colors of hair, skin, eyes. Learn to emphasize the positives and diminish the negatives by what you wear, how you wear it and how you move. Are you a business person, soldier, lumberjack, minister, outwardly gay? Put it all together right and it’s called “poise.”

2. DRESS/STYLE

A. Clothing can intimidate such as uniforms, revealing, religious, bikers, gangs, military, medical.

B. Clothing can show history, values and culture. My old bellbottoms show all three — I’m from the ’60s, I am 70-plus in age and I’m cheap because I still have them.

C. Affects first impressions with classiness, femininity, masculinity, cleanliness, etc.

D. Objects and how you handle/wear them — jewelry, briefcase vs. backpack, how one flips a magazine, holds a cigarette.

E. Color. Choices in clothing, makeup, etc. The colors in “power” in descending value are: black, navy blue, brown, gray, ivory, red, white, green, blue, yellow, beige, pink, orange. What’s important is how you feel about yourself in a certain color. It you feel good and confident in orange, great.

F. Furniture and decorating: Fashionable, antique, cleanliness, where it is placed. I knew a school superintendent who had three pieces of furniture in his large office — his huge desk (on a step-up platform in the far end of the room), his chair behind the desk and a second chair near the door. If a person interviewing for a job didn’t ask to move the second chair closer to his desk, he didn’t hire them.

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Contact Nils Rosdahl at [email protected].