RANT: Tip the housekeepers

Some have a bone to pick and I’ve got a whole ribcage, so forgive me if I rant like George Carlin.

I thank the snowplows for all they do, but what’s with all you businesses who don’t shovel the sidewalks bordering your property? I have weathered many winters without a car and having no place to go is treacherous. Shame on you. Why aren’t you being fined?

As for abortion, it is murder and should only happen in cases of incest, rape and deformity. You careless girls who treat it like extreme birth control, dunno how you sleep at night.

Why is our minimum wage so ridiculously low? I’m a housekeeper and I earn maybe $4 for every room I clean; my boss keeps the rest. I like what I do, but it’s like going on an Easter egg hunt and finding no chocolate in the eggs.

You tip the waitress, the pizza guy, the cab driver, but never the housekeeper. Why? I’m not your mum. I work hard for very little. If your room is flawless, please try to make us feel worthwhile.

Speaking of chocolate, why don’t you apathetic airline clowns quit leaving those horrible chocolate airplanes behind? You’re notorious for never tipping at our hotel. Why? You probably make 10 times our salary.

Now, you drexters (my word), out of respect for the dozens of fatalities you cause every day, knock it off! Unplug your digitized brains and drive the car! I fear for my life every time I ride my bike. If you drext in front of your children, don’t be surprised when they drive off a cliff someday.

To finish on a positive note, I want to thank the Bus Driver for the Shoe Sale, 99.5. Your station is indeed an “oasis in a sea of septic radio.” Thank you for making my work days a delight. I have your station blasting from the radios in every room.

To all the cool people (you know who you are), have a happy new year. Blessed be.

LINDSEY KIERNA

Hayden