A Brand New Day: Animal kingdom 1, human race 0

Once upon a time...

Well, actually it was just several weeks ago, when we started this column with that gorgeous picture in the background. You were promised a few interesting topics down the road, including a tale about the IQ of ducks.

Quite a few people wrote to say they couldn’t imagine how we’d manage to put ducks’ intelligence into proper context. OK, then ...

This past summer, some idiot got stranded on an uninhabited island just 20 miles from New York City.

When he was eventually rescued and did a radio interview, he was asked what he would have eaten if it had taken several days for help to arrive.

“Well, there were ducks on the island,” he said, “and I’d found a tree branch I could use as a stick.”

AND HOW was our idiot going to kill ducks with that stick?

“Well, I’m a human being,” he said. “I mean, I’m a lot smarter than any duck.”

The radio man left it there, without mentioning that the ducks could easily have slipped into a pond that was quite close.

But back to the guy’s thinking: Are ducks stupid? We got an inkling last week, not with ducks but with some paddling cousins ... Yes, geese.

Right there on the front page of The Press was a picture of a coyote just a few yards from a gaggle of geese, all of whom were totally unconcerned about being attacked, eaten or anything else.

They had quickly figured out that the coyote was a fake, deployed by The Coeur d’Alene Resort in an attempt to keep its lawns free of goose poop.

WE SHOULD not blame John Eloe, facilities director for The Resort.

Many homeowners and business proprietors have tried to fool creatures like those geese — and ducks, too, matter of fact. What else can you do?

“Lots of people have tried to use ‘scare animals,’” said Phil Cooper, wildlife conservation educator for the Idaho Fish and Game’s Panhandle Region. “I’ve never heard of it working very long.

“There have been fake owls put out to get rid of pigeons, but it doesn’t last for more than a day. I’m not too surprised about that coyote not fooling the geese.”

So... Are there any animals that might fall for this “imitation” trick? Actually, yes.

HUMANS CAN be suckered fairly easily.

Several states, including California, have had great success by putting lifelike wooden highway patrol cars just past blind curves.

You can hear the screeching of brakes for hundreds of yards as motorists go into full panic mode. They DO finally figure out it’s a fake, of course, but then it’s in their heads that cops are lurking around.

Driver: “Maybe they’d show me a fake and then have the real thing a couple miles ahead. I’d best slow down.”

Now, how about that question of a duck’s IQ?

They wouldn’t be fooled.

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Steve Cameron is a columnist for The Press. Follow A Brand New Day at facebook.com/BrandNewDayCDAPress. Email: [email protected]