Wisdom from a ranching father A fatherly assignment

Some people say everything you need to know about life is learned in kindergarten. No disrespect to my kindergarten teacher, but everything I needed to know about life I learned from my Dad, John Robertson, who was a rancher in Southwest Montana. I would like to share with you a few of those lessons and the stories that go along with them.

Some Lessons in Life Are Learned Harder Than Others!

Early in my childhood my Dad chewed tobacco. Of course, being like most young boys I wanted to be like my Dad. One day I informed my Dad that I wanted to start chewing. Even though my Dad had quit and I was only in first grade, he agreed to teach me. He promised that he would buy some chew and show me how to use it. The next day I bragged to everyone on the playground that I was going to learn to chew. I even talked my best friend, Jack, into watching this grand event.

It was a warm spring day when we arrived at my home and Dad was waiting with a fresh can of Copenhagen. Not holding back, I proceeded to take a huge “five finger dip “ out the can. Soon I asked my Dad what I should do about the juice that was being created by the chew. He told me I needed “to swallow it because that's what chewers do.” After a few swallows I began to feel my body temperature rising and every rotation of planet Earth. Before I knew what had happened I was on the ground throwing up, Jack had to go home, my Mother was crying and I spent the rest of the day on the couch trying to recover. That's when I learned some lessons in life are learned harder than others!

Don't Worry About What You Cannot Control and There Are No Excuses in Football!

My “Pop” taught me another valuable lesson when I was in third grade and some of my classmates and I decided we were going hold our football game in town on a Saturday. We put up signs and invited everyone to watch us play in our catalog-bought replica football suits. I convinced my Dad he had to attend along with all of the other parents. But the day of the big game we realized only six kids and my Dad had showed up at the field.

The show went on with Dad doing his best to coach both teams and ref. That day the game did not turn out in my favor. On the way home while I was pouting, my Dad asked me what was wrong? I told him it was not my performance which was upsetting me. I quickly began blaming the referee, the coach and making every excuse in the book about my team's loss. “The other team cheated by holding and not playing by the rules,” I complained.

After listening to my whiney rant my Dad said: “Well, maybe football is not the game for you, son.” How could he say that when he knew how much I loved football? He explained that football is a tough game played by tough guys. He said that when he played not every penalty got called and not everyone played by the rules. “Great players don't worry about the refs and other players,” he told me, “they just concentrate on playing to the best of their ability.”

As my Dad always seemed to do with his calm advice, he was challenging and motivating me to prove to him that I was tough enough to play football. The game we both loved. That's When I Learned Not to Worry About What I Couldn't Control and That There Are No Excuses in Football!

These are some other essential lessons my Father taught me:

• Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan

• Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

• Be a Good Neighbor

• Pursue Your Dreams with Your Utmost Effort

• Always Take a Coat, Boots, Gloves and a Hat … You Can Take Them Off If You Have Them

• This House is Not a Gymnasium

• Treat Others the Way You Want to Be Treated

But one of the last and most important lessons I learned from my Dad was later in life. It was then that he taught me a valuable lesson that: Ranchers Don't Have Scoreboards with Clocks!

It was my third season coaching football at Rocky Mountain College in Billings, Mont., and my eighth year in the college coaching profession. The year was shaping up to be my toughest yet. We were losing more games than the previous two seasons even though the kids and coaches were working harder. The losses were close and we had a good team but everything seemed stacked against us. Our players and coaches kept watching the scoreboard and clock, only to keep finding out that, again, we had lost. We were feeling like all of our hard work was useless and if anything, our team was getting worse with every game.

I called my Dad to express my frustration and disappointment. “Maybe they will fire me and I can find the profession I am supposed to be in,” I told him. My Dad listened and let me finish. Then he explained that he had always been a rancher. He said a rancher never has a scoreboard to decide if he was a winner or a loser. “Ranchers work as hard as they can and try to do their best,” Pop explained. “Instead of worrying about a clock or paying attention to the crowd, they just keep on going until the job is done.”

He told me that our “team's job was not finished. If they keep playing their hardest they won't need to look at a scoreboard with a clock to see if they are winners or losers; and more times than not, the scoreboard will be in their favor,” he said to encourage me. That's When I Learned That Ranchers Don't Have Scoreboards with Clocks!

My Pop always had a gentle strength in teaching lessons. He taught me to follow my heart and give from my soul. It's no wonder I became a teacher and a coach. I, too, have many lessons I want to pass on to my students and players.

I am not sure if any of these lessons fit into your life, but there is one more “life lesson” I want to share. A few years back I read any article about a man who had grown up with a loving Father. However, he wanted to communicate better with him. It wasn't that his Father didn't want to talk to his son; he just didn't know how to do it. His Father's generation had a hard time telling others they loved them and sharing stories of their past. In his article, the man recommended a book called: “Questions for My Father: Finding the Man Behind Your Dad” by Vincent Staniforth. This book helped the man reach out to his father because it had hundreds of questions on a wide range of topics.

My Dad and I had a great relationship and he often told me he loved me. The problem with our visits was that time had a way of erasing my memories of our conversations. So when I found out my Dad had cancer and his days were numbered I bought him Mr. Staniforth's book and a journal. Before he passed away my Dad answered all of the book's questions in his journal. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a father or a father figure. Ask your father to make a journal of his answers. It is a keepsake you will always cherish. Mine continues to provide great insights and wisdom from my beloved Pop. It has become a truly priceless memory and helps me continue to celebrate our wonderful relationship. I encourage you, too, to get the book because you will never regret taking the time to do this with your Dad.