THE FRONT ROW WITH MARK NELKE: Sunday, Dec. 4, 2016
Saturday night, members of the College Football Playoff committee holed up in a room in Grapevine, Texas, to watch games before making their final decisions on which four teams would square off to determine the national champion.
Some of the committee members apparently had to leave the room from time to time during the day — not because their teams were being discussed, but because of repercussions from their chicken-and-waffles breakfast.
According to an actual fly on the wall, here are some things committee members said that were overheard:
“Who flipped the channel to ESPN Classic? Why are we watching Wisconsin and Penn State?”
“Uh, that’s the Big Ten championship game.”
“Wait, what? Where’s Ohio State and Michigan?”
“Neither one won their division.”
“Hmmm ... then why is Ohio State second in the rankings, and Wisconsin is sixth and Penn State seventh?”
“Because we’re supposed to rank these teams based on their ‘overall body of work,’ whatever that means. Besides, you want to be the one who tells Urban Meyer he’s not in the playoff?”
“Oh, yeah. Well, what if Ohio State had lost at home to Michigan last weekend?”
“Well, luckily for us they didn’t. Like I said, you want to be the one to tell Urban he’s not in the playoff?
“They darned near lost in overtime. Sure looked like they might have been short of a first down on that butt tackle.”
“That butt what? Oh yeah, that was an optical illusion. Remember, the human tush has a bit of a cushion — some more than others. His had just enough for the ball carrier to get the first down. Besides ... “
“ ... Yeah, I know, I know — you want to be the one to tell Urban Meyer he’s not in?”
“Well, what about Michigan? Shouldn’t they be in the playoff? They played Ohio State tough on the road, and lost in overtime. They came about as close as you can come to winning that game.”
“Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. Besides, they had their chance to beat Ohio State, and they screwed it up. You can’t make that many mistakes. You can’t throw touchdown passes to the other team. You don’t get a second chance. Next!”
“I feel sorry for the guy who has to tell Jim Harbaugh his team is not in the playoff.”
“Why? If he pitches a fit, just throw a flag at him and penalize him another 15 yards. What’s he going to do about it?”
The fly reported several minutes of silence in the room. Remember, the chicken and waffles ...
“What about Washington? How should we rank them?
“Improving team. Been a mess for years, but looking better under Jay Gruden. And Kirk Cousins is proving to be a very serviceable quarterback.”
“No, no, no, not that Washington. I’m talking about the Huskies. Chris Petersen, and all that.”
“Yeah, he’s doing a great job at Boise State. Gotta watch out for all those trick plays.”
“Uh, he’s in his third season coaching at Washington. Don’t you ever watch them play?”
“No, I don’t get the Pac-12 Network — DirecTV thinks so little of the network, they won’t carry it. Besides, they play after my bedtime.”
“Yeah, but they won the Pac-12 championship. Only lost one game, to an improving USC team. Shouldn’t they be in the playoff?”
“I don’t know. Oregon was down. Stanford was down. WSU was good for goodness’ sakes. What does that say about the league?”
“Now, that Don James, he had some great teams.”
“Yes, but he hasn’t coached the Huskies in two decades.”
“Well, if we let Washington in, what do we say to the Wisconsin-Penn State winner?”
“When in doubt, fire off an email — or a text message.”
“I think we should take another look at the No. 4 team in the SEC.”
Mark Nelke is sports editor of The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext. 2019, or via email at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter@CdAPressSports.