MLP: Contrary to expectation

It sounds like another word invented by that Snitty (yet delightful) Bitty, Mary Poppins. Paraprosdokian is indeed a real word, Dear Readers, but one guaranteed to make Uncle Albert laugh his way to the ceiling.

Thinking Greek? You'd be correct. Appearing in a language text 2,000 years ago, it suggests Ancient Greeks had a healthy sense of humor. The preposition "para" means "contrary to" and the noun "prosdokia" means "expectation"; hence the paraprosdokian is "contrary to expectation." Such as that rare occasion when Mrs. Language Person is actually funny.

To state the obvious, a paraprosdokian is a figure of speech - a sentence or passage in which the latter part is unexpected or surprising, causing one to rethink the first part. A paraprosdokian (say that five times fast) can change a word's meaning:

"War doesn't determine who is right, only who is left."

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." (Groucho Marx)

Or simply supply comedic material:

"All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand." (Steven Wright)

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." (Oscar Wilde)

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met." (Rodney Dangerfield)

Other paraprosdokians convey a clever double meaning:

"We all know that light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." (Albert Einstein)

"Flowers are as common here as people are in London." (Oscar Wilde)

An aphorism is a terse or clever truth, a principle with punch. Form that as a paraprosdokian and you know that money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Even better is a two-in-one, that aphoristic double meaning:

"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."

Sometimes paraprosdokians give good guidance:

"You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need one to skydive twice."

"Hospitality is making your guests feel at home when you wish they were."

Those who make a living with words take sinister pleasure in the hunt for the unintended paraprodoskian-like funnies (especially in their own work). Consider these examples from monthly law journals, taken from courtroom and deposition testimonies:

* "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"

* Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?" Mrs. J: "By death." Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

* Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?" Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'" Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?" Witness: "My name is Susan."

If MLP's critics are smirking at the notion that perhaps some of these last items may not quite qualify under today's topic (their characterization as "paraprosdokian-like" notwithstanding), she replies, "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way you'll be a mile away and he won't have any shoes."

Mrs. Language Person is a reluctant, recalcitrant columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her if you must at [email protected].