Three mamas. Three stories. One message: 'Beat It!'

Meet Kathy Hostetter, Patty Seebeck and Mina McAnulty - the subjects of this week's Red Hot Mamas profiles. 

Kathy: It’s All Attitude

Kathy Hostetter, 64, single

Retired Communication instructor North Idaho College

Master's Degree in Communication

Enjoyments: Friends, family, RHM sisters, kayaking, biking, travel and ice cream.

Highlights of her life: Waking up after surgery. Students. Happy children at Costa Rican Habitat for Humanity build.

Red Hot Mama: seven months

Pet Peeve: Poor attitudes.

Favorite Quote: “Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it.” Charles Swindoll

RHM Besties: Friendships, laughter, community service, synergy of the Mamas(Like pizza, the olives, pepperoni, mushrooms are all great individually, but the bite of all the ingredients together is wonderful!) Smiling children with cancer as we helped Ride for Life.

RHM Tuffies: Finding car keys.

Breast cancer diagnosis: July, 2005

Treatment: Partial mastectomy, lymphectomy, Chemotherapy, double mastectomy

I’m not sure what to do with this quote. It wasn’t part of any other text grouping. maybe just whack it.

“My life quality of this moment, is dependent on my attitude for this moment. I am not in control of the card I was dealt. The only things I am in control of is my spirituality and attitude. There is a golden thread even in our darkest hours - have eyes to look for it.” Kathy Hostetter

Attitude is a choice. From the creator of bologna surprise soup come myriad comic antics. When the priest-instructor of her Gonzaga religion course asked the class if they found the Catholic “version” of the commentaries, Kathy Hostetter mixed up her words answering, “Did you know there are no Catholic virgins in the library?” While chaperoning a teenage bicycle tour through Europe, she made a deal, for safety sake, with the local police to let them stay in a jail cell for the night. When one teen wrote home: “Spent night in jail, love your son,” let just say, parents were not pleased. When her friends need to be perked up, they call Kathy. Several cancer publications use the analogy of being handed a loaded gun when you have a family member with cancer and that it is lifestyle choices that determine whether the trigger is pulled. Kathy says, “We all have choices in attitude every day.” She's a prism of joyful colors because she chooses to look for the light in dark hours.

Her darkest hours started when she was called in to retake a mammogram. She says, “I knew I probably had breast cancer because most of the women in my family passed of cancer.”

Treatments began with two surgeries. Chemotherapy was detoured for staph infection. A double mastectomy concluded her treatments. There were days her extreme fatigue turned into dizzy and dizzy turned into passing out at work where she instructed 100+ communication students. She says, “They were 100 blessings that helped keep me strong.” She slept in her office between classes. Her memory was shot. One day her students said, “Don't you remember you told us everyone gets an A." That didn't work, but they had fun trying. One day she passed out and woke up with coffee drenching her graded papers and her wig dangling off her ear. Some days were dark. In private she cried.

Yet in the darkness, light shined. Her NIC colleagues rallied. They decorated her office, sang songs, and left surprises. They threw a hat party wearing goofy outfits. One planted tulips in her honor. She celebrates life looking at them every year. Her dance friends gave her hats, encouragements, and dinner. When her hair started falling out, they cut it for her. Her family stuck like glue through each surgery.

Kathy hopes women will look for the light in the darkness. She also hopes people will learn better communication to help their loved ones. She says, “Don't avoid conversations. Use language to make their life valued, and add opportunities for laughter and joy as relief.” She offers examples:

POOR COMMUNICATION: “I had an aunt who had breast cancer… she died.”

GOOD COMMUNICATION: “I can't walk it for you, but I will happily walk beside you. Friends do that.”

Her happy attitude draws her to things humorous. She came to the Red Hot Mamas after helping care for her ill father five years. She beams, “the audition flyer said any age, any size, did not need to know how to sing or dance…wow, that was me and they are willing to create a talent for me.” It was all about me and my needs, but after being a Red Hot Mama, seeing hundreds of smiles on faces, making life a bit lighter for others, I know it's all about community, not Self.” Now, that's a good attitude!

At eight years cancer free, Kathy “Beat It.”

•••

Patty: Party On!

Patty Seebeck, 55, divorced, two kids

Program Coordinator-INCA After Dark. Sorority House Director at U of W, Alpha Chi Omega

BS in Human Nutrition & Foods

Red Hot Mama: 5 years

Enjoyments: Apple fritters, really good ice cream, Greek salad, PURPLE, playing outside, yoga, road biking, walking, running, dancing, sewing, and travel

Highlight of her life: Helicopter Skiing. Being respected for care of the chef community

Pet peeve: Whining. Life is too short.

RHM Besties: Incredible salve for the soul. Healing, loving, fun-loving, God fearing women. Roar of the crowd. Finding a face in the crowd to love on!

RHM Tuffies: Getting 50+ women to be patient, listen, and take directions to work as a team.

Breast cancer diagnosis: February of 2014

Treatment: Lumpectomy, radiation, oral drugs

"The party in the back of the house is even better than the one in the front of the house." This long-lived food and beverage industry saying describes Patty Seebeck's introspections of joining the people she knows who are in heaven. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in spring 2014. This news can wipe a woman out, but not this naturally adventurous one.

Smokey the Bear is her hero. You might find her biking on mountain trails, plunging into crisp lakes, running on a sun-warmed beach, hiking through Italy, or helicopter skiing. She well remembers her feelings on the day she was handed her free radiation/oncology parking pass for her 16 consecutive treatments. The anticipation of driving through Seattle traffic to cancer treatments was instantly depressing. Hmmmmm. How about a round trip bike trek from the UW to Capitol Hill for sixteen consecutive days of fun, freshness, and challenge instead? She vowed never to use the parking pass. The radiation/oncology team became her cheerleaders. 144 miles and all the treatments later she feels accomplished to have managed the task with a fresh reality. She turned loss-of-life-as-she-knew-it into adventure.

Last spring marked several losses for Patty. She wasn't shocked by the diagnosis, as her family history is stacked with the common language of breast cancer. It was the loss of health, usual routines, vacation plans, and, as is too common in the wake of such a diagnosis, a relationship ended. Then, her beloved family dog died in her arms. Emotions popped out of nowhere without her permission. Her adventurous spirit was knocked down, but not out.

All of these events happened after Patty signed on with the RHMs this year. She says, “Working towards The Macy's Parade during the treatments and processing my losses, provided a focus of hope, joy, support, and strength. Their joy is infectious.” Decked out in bandages, bubbled skin, tissues, and workout cloths, she came to rehearsals. Friends came to her side.

Wanting to share her honest feelings and help others, she was struck by the awkward manner loving people attempt to communicate with cancer patients and started a blog to help people learn appropriate things to say. Converse from a more connectional angle.

Appropriate: “Tell me about your doctors…describe their character. What magazines do read when you are waiting for an appointment?”

Inappropriate: “How are you?” She says, “This is too BIG and we are not FINE!”

Her prayer is, "Lord, please draw near when it comes...help me not be afraid and to understand.” She is living life. She is not dying, but she is looking forward to the “back of the house party” one day.

A few months post treatment, Patty “Beat It!”

•••

Mina: One phone call can be a life-changer!

Mina McAnulty, 67, married 46 years, two daughters, seven grandkids

Life Titles: Wife, mother, grammy, Red Hot Mama

Red Hot Mama: sevn months

Enjoyments: Dance, Zumba,

RHM Besties: It is a perfect fit for me. Going to New York City!

RHM Tuffies: Learning the routines

Breast cancer diagnosis: Sept. 28, 2006

Treatment: Mastectomy, Chemotherapy

She was a watcher. She looked forward to watching the energetic performers dance down the parade route never thinking in a million years she would be one of the zany women. It wasn't until her daughters persistent nudging gave way to her attending an audition that she became what she never thought she would: A Red Hot Mama. Now she is a doer. It's been a long trip to this doing.

“Cancer was a trip I had not planned, but a journey I'm glad I took. It taught me so much.” says smiling Mina.

When Mina went to the doctor to have a lump checked, the doctor said she was fine and was going to send her home without running any tests. Mina knew her body well enough to know something didn't seem right. She dug in and refused to leave the office until the doctor scheduled an ultra sound. Saying she would order it for the sake of Mina's “peace of mind”, the test was done.

The news came in a phone call. The doctor told her she had breast cancer. She is so thankful she didn't back down as she emphasizes, “Obviously I was not fine!” Mina's immediate response to the diagnosis was surprisingly calm with a sense of peace. It might seem unnatural to others, but she felt as if everything would be okay. Any anger she felt was toward the inattentive doctor.

Decisions. Decisions. Mastectomy or lumpectomy? Now or later? One or both? Every woman has to make the choice she can live with, literally. Mina chose a full mastectomy for her peace of mind and has never regretted the decision. Chemo made her so sick she says, “If someone had offered to shoot me I might have taken them up on it.” She also suffered mouth sores and thrush. Medications helped ease all the side effects. However; there were no medications for losing her hair. When she found herself standing in the shower with a handful of hair, she did not feel the peaceful calm of her diagnosis day. This was the worst thing for her on the journey. She ponders, “Sounds weird doesn't it? Cancer was ok, but baldness wasn't.” A cute wig lifted her spirits.

That's not all that lifted her spirits. “The love and encouragement of family, friends, and my faith was amazing to me!” she exclaims. Her husband sat through every treatment, her daughter left gifts and encouragements on her porch, and her relationship with Jesus grew strong. Life is more precious than ever. She feels blessed to get to enjoy her grandchildren.

Eight cancer free years later she shouts, “New York City, here I come!” She “Beat It!”