Forgive, grow and live

Have you ever seen a woman so strikingly beautiful your filtered adult circuits gave way to 4-year-old unabashed staring? If so, she could have been Candace (Andie) Braun. She is also a naturally gifted singer with a face-sparkling smile. Her signature song as a Red Hot Mama is "If They Could See Me Now" from Sweet Charity. The lyrics about rising from difficult circumstances could be a metaphor of her life.

As a little girl, Andie would have traded her father's toxic words for a punch any day. A bruise would heal in a week, but the misery of his words hurt more than any fist: "I don't love you." "You are merely a responsibility I am stuck taking care of." "If the house were burning down you would be the last one I would get out." His words left open wounds on this brown eyed little girl's heart.

Never knowing what to expect, she was constantly afraid. After school, the butterflies increased in her gut with each step toward home. Would she be greeted by the calm alcoholic father or the angry one who required her to sit silently in the dark with him as his music blared. Trembling in fear of her father coming to shoot her in the head, she would fall asleep hiding under her bed. Most days at school she put on her practiced "happy face" to sputter reasons her homework wasn't done. She lived in fear.

At 18 she left her parents' home. A few days later her mother avoided Andie in a grocery store, believing her husband would kill her if she talked to her daughter. He held a gun to her head in a game of Russian roulette the night Andie left.

Andie said, "Mom and I were always a team, taking care of each other, so I went back home to beg dad for forgiveness, never looking back." Two weeks later, Andie's distressed mother ingested pills and slashed her wrists. Andie was awakened by her dad pulling her to the bathtub where her mother was bleeding. He ordered her to walk her mom until the paramedics came. She wondered out loud how her mom could do this to her, "I came back to protect you from dad. How could you leave me alone with him?"

Soaked in her mother's blood, she got angry. Her anger gave way to sorrow, and sorrow paved the way through misplaced guilt and shame to embrace forgiveness and renewal.

In her new life, she sings and dances and her happy face is the real deal. Andie says, "People do not just do bad things, they experience them. How they choose to be affected by them shapes who they become." She chose to love her parents in spite of imperfections just as her Heavenly Father loved her. Forgiveness healed her wounds.

Andie's physical beauty is only outshined by her beautiful spirit. Rainbow words nourish her now: "You are a princess of the King." "You are wonderfully and purposefully made." "You are loved and cherished." "You are set free."

Andie's hope in conveying her painful past is to inspire others to reach for more. She says, "Know you can forgive, grow and most importantly LIVE! Do not just survive. You do not have to be a product of what you grew up in. Being a part of The Red Hot Mamas opened doors I never knew existed within me. Find that which strengthens you and be ready to accept the miracles that will come."

There are many organizations offering a boost of new life to participants. Be encouraged to get on out there and seize the day. The Mamas can be followed on Facebook and reached at www.rhmamas.com.