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What you say and do

by Sheree DiBiase/Lake City Physical Therapy
| July 2, 2014 9:00 PM

Years ago, I was at Home Depot at a free class for kids to make birdhouses. It was a Saturday morning and we all needed an adventure. Well, three boys under eight years old, Home Depot and a free class seemed like a good idea at the time. Needless to say, we could make quite a commotion and not on purpose, but since they are all two years apart, that's just the way it was.

Anyway, we made our way into Home Depot and my boys were already "hot lapping" before the presenter even had the birdhouses out of the box to assemble. Then out came the hammer, small nails and glue, and suddenly I became quite nervous.

There was a lot of action and a flurry of children scurrying about, trying to get their birdhouse kits. Thank goodness my husband was there, along with a patient presenter, because it was chaos - let's just say that. I stood back in amazement, thinking it wasn't too bad that there was glue in my youngest son's hair, paint on my middle son's pants, and my oldest son was making his house while simultaneously telling everyone else what to do and proceeding to "help" them, even though they were protesting his help quite loudly.

Just then, a beautiful older lady made a beeline for me, and my heart rate accelerated as I wondered what one of my boys might have done to her. You see, when you have three boys under the age of eight, sometimes people can have quite an opinion of what you "should" be doing with them. Boys at this age can be unpredictable, as you well know, so I was thinking, "Oh great, here we go. What did they do now?"

I held my breath as she started, and then something in her tone and body language changed. She began very properly and stated empathically, "There is a special place in heaven for a mother of three boys like you, and you are a saint!" I was startled, and felt a thrill of delight. I was no longer afraid, and I knew suddenly that I was not alone - there were other mothers like me.

She proceeded to talk to me for 20 minutes or so about being the mother of three boys herself, and how it was the greatest blessing and joy of her whole life. She told me to cherish every moment, to not miss a thing and to never be ashamed of the crazy antics that would go on because of them. She said the world would not understand the craziness of a household of all boys and she was sure that God would create a special place for us in heaven because all we endured.

She said there was only one time she lost it, when they were all teenagers and they got in a fistfight in the backyard and there was blood. She said she screamed at them and then let them duke it out while she called her husband at work on the phone and said, "You get home right now and take care of them, I'm over it." She said he came home and it never happened again - at least not on her watch.

I was in one of those places in my life where I was wondering what I had gotten myself into. Did I really have what it takes to be a good mom to three boys? Phew! I mean, what did I know about being a boy? Not much. But this lady was backing me and didn't even know me. She was like an angel, a breath of fresh air, and the sunshine to my heart on a cloudy day. She said any parents who would bring their three young sons to Home Depot early on Saturday morning was good to go in her book. For her, I will always be eternally grateful that she used her words of kindness to tell a young mom that she wasn't alone, and that she had been there and could understand my life.

Every day in my physical therapy offices, my patients face overwhelming life challenges with their physical health. Just this past week, I had two patients that have had multiple bouts with cancer over decades of their lives, and I am amazed at their resilience and determination. But what is really incredible to me is that they are in relationships with people who regularly encourage them with their words and actions.

This encouragement from others changes our mindset and lets us know we are not alone in this journey - that others are right there with us, cheering us on. That is what this wonderful lady did for me in Home Depot years ago. She reminded me that we are not supposed to walk alone and that we need words of encouragement, even if it is from someone we don't know.

So make sure that every day, what you say and what you do makes a positive difference in the world. People are counting on you!

Sheree DiBiase, PT and her staff at Lake City Physical Therapy can be reached in her Coeur d'Alene office at (208) 667-1988 and in the Spokane Valley at (509) 891-2623.

PS: I hope someday I get to meet the woman who talked to me in Home Depot, and tell her thanks for her encouraging words; it made all the difference in the world!