I'm sorry, now read this, please

Want to build trust without waiting for the time it might otherwise take in a new relationship? Apologize.

That's what's suggested by a study published in the October 2013 issue of the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science. The sort of apology they mean isn't one necessarily generated from remorse over bad behavior, serious mistakes, or wrongdoing. It's the little ones, even the completely unnecessary or illogical ones.

Has this weather got you down? I'm so sorry.

"Even in the absence of culpability, individuals can increase trust and liking by saying 'I'm sorry' - even when they are merely 'sorry' about the rain," writes the research team led by Allison Brooks of Harvard Business School

I don't control the weather, so if it's a damper on your day that's no reason for me to apologize. However, apologizing does imply concern for your welfare, or dismay if you are somehow suffering for it. Therein lies the key: When we believe others are thinking about our welfare, especially if we haven't yet asked it of them, we tend to trust them more, consider them worthy of our confidence.

Compassion works endless wonders - such as the use of an unknowing study subject's cell phone by a stranger, who might easily have run off with it.

At a busy northeast U.S. train station on a rainy day, a man asked 65 strangers for use of their phones. With half, he just asked directly. Only 9 percent of those complied. With the other half, he first expressed regret about the rain; 47 percent of those then handed their phones over to him.

That was just one of four experiments on the effectiveness of superfluous apologies - all with similar conclusions. The disturbing part of the study is that the results bore no relation to sincerity of the apologies; the insincere "I'm sorrys" generated the same feelings of trust as did the deeply felt variety. I suppose the lesson in that is to be careful to discern the difference before trusting the speaker with anything important.

Compassion, and its inherent selflessness: Good. Faking it: A revelation of our vulnerabilities. Let's hope the latter doesn't discourage the former.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network who says "I'm sorry" all too often, but never knew why. Contact her at [email protected].