Be a great parent
Editor's note: This is the second of a two-part series of parenting strategies. The first four strategies ran last Monday.
Strategy No. 5
Take Action! Kids may not realize it, but having responsibilities is good for them. All people need to know they are valued and valuable; it's human nature. Parents can show kids that they are valued at home by giving them increasing levels of responsibility. We can then take it a step further by helping them get engaged in service in the community, whether this involvement is in the neighborhood, school or somewhere else.
Strategy No. 6
Take Action! Kids need emotional and physical safety in equal measures. The challenges parents face in providing it vary as much as kids and their environments.
A secret to keeping kids safe is to do the other eight things on this list. If you're communicating, you'll know what's going on in your child's life, where they might need some help, or if they might need someone to look out for them. If they have contributing roles and positive influences, they're more likely to make safe choices, and if lots of people care about them, they can get help and support when needed.
A second key is to take physical safety measures (such as babyproofing their surroundings when they are young, or setting rules about driving when they become teens) out of love for them and a desire for them to have positive experiences, rather than out of fear.
Strategy No. 7
Take Action! It's no fun being the parent who says no when others are saying yes. But sometimes it's in the best interest of your kids and your entire family. The key to reducing everyone's stress and frustration about limits and expectations is to be clear, consistent, reasonable, and evolutionary. "Evolutionary" means being responsive to your child's changing developmental needs and what they've demonstrated about their choices.
Reward the positive behavior and limit opportunities for negative behavior. For example, if you have a teenager who has a history of impulsive behavior, don't let her go to an unsupervised party, have a gathering at your home instead. Or, if your son gets up five mornings a week in the summer to go to cross country practice, let him skip an evening lacrosse workout when he's feeling ragged and worn out.
Strategy No. 8
Take Action! Be the dad who talks to your passengers during the carpool. Be the mom who asks a lot of questions about school, interests, and activities. You don't have to be nosy to get to know your children's friends, but you do have to be the one to set the tone of kind, friendly interactions. Your kids might think it's a little weird at first, but in the long run they'll appreciate it.
Strategy No. 9
Take Action! This one is simple, but definitely not easy: Be the kind of person you want your child to be. Know your values and act on them, treat others the way you would like to be treated, follow your dreams, cut yourself some slack when appropriate, and feel good knowing you're building the assets your kids need to succeed.
Source: The 40 Developmental Assets may be reproduced for educational, noncommercial uses only. Copyright 2010 Search Institute, 615 First Avenue NE, Suite 125, Minneapolis, MN 55413; 800-888-7828; www.search-institute.org. All rights reserved. www.parentfurther.com