I am not my disability

Avoiding prejudice - the judgment of others, good or bad, in advance of knowing them, i.e., pre-judgment - is simple: Think person-first.

Not black or white, Asian or Mexican. Not Mormon or Muslim. Not autistic, bipolar, or the r-word (retarded) - yes, it's an insult, as well as inaccurate. Not disabled (which encompasses hundreds of very different conditions). Not blind. To start with any of these is its own blindness.

Person. The rest are just features. They do not define a whole human being, with all that potential for variety, character, and belief systems. Not even close.

Labels aren't always meant to hurt, but even the nicely-intended ones reduce. It's not so much the words as what's behind them that limits our attitudes and understanding of one another.

"We are not superheroes; we are not victims," says Patrick Blum of Disability Action Center Northwest in Coeur d'Alene, an information, teaching, and referral service for those with disabilities and those seeking to understand. "We are equals, we are peers. We are simply human."

Author Neil Marcus said that disability is not a "brave struggle" or "courage in the face of adversity," but an art - an ingenious way to live. Even describing Marcus as an internationally recognized author isn't saying much. He's also a dancer, philosopher, actor, and many other things I can not know unless I meet and befriend him.

He is a person, first.

Think of it as the foundation of civil rights. No one wants to be defined by one thing. It's dehumanizing. It reduces a complex person to one thing, and thus degrades. Worse, it's an unnecessary waste of resources and potential. How much more might we offer each other if we learn how much more there is to offer, simply by refraining from labels and stigmas?

Blum says discrimination against those with disabilities tend toward the "big three" - employment, housing, and transportation. No matter how skilled a candidate may be, upon learning of a disability of any form, employers tend to shy away, regardless of whether it affects the job. Some of that's fear of the unknown (so easy to fix; call DAC), and the myth that making a workplace "accessible" is necessarily expensive. They often are quite simple - even free, and some accommodations also help others; ramps and elevators make it easier for baby strollers and the elderly, who might also appreciate large print.

Yes, I said elderly. Whether by aging, accident, or health issue, we all face a likely prospect of disability of some form, some time. All persons are made up of the disabled and "those who don't have a disability yet," as Blum reminds. In law, even childhood is considered a disability, e.g. the capacity to contract or consent. Blum believes that the aging of baby boomers may help the situation of the disabled overall. Compassion can really motivate change, and necessity breeds both.

Mental illness - again, one term for a wide variety of conditions - is also a major target of discrimination, although many such conditions don't negatively impact workplaces or neighbors.

"They can't understand," says Blum. "(It's assumed) any mental health issue means you're 'crazy' - a fear you'll go off on somebody."

That's simply not true, and it hurts everyone. Attitudes like this are the biggest barriers to integration, to independent living, to self-reliance. Too many people who want to and can work and do for themselves are kept from it by stigmas. Those without a disability yet are the ones who must get louder, who must re-examine and join the effort to improve the picture, starting with ourselves.

I had this idea my compassion for those with disabilities was already fairly high; it's certainly been a part of our family life for a long time. I thought I understood and held no prejudgments. But I've identified one or two since my discussions with Patrick Blum, a natural, yet unassuming teacher (he used to be one, and misses the classroom). To grow, each of us must rethink continually. I heard Mother Teresa say once that she worked daily on her prejudgments, ideas, and beliefs, questioning herself to learn and improve. Well into her 70s at the time, she said, "I'm just a child in the world."

Growing up lifelong: That's it. Growing up means sharing this big playground equally with everyone and making use of our differences, instead of fearing them. Civil rights and basic human dignity shouldn't require a "fight."

"I hope for the day when I'm not needed," Blum says.

For more information, to just chat about disabilities, or to inquire about services, contact Disability Action Center Northwest (one of more than 700 centers nationwide) at (208) 664-9896 or [email protected]. If you talk to Patrick, ask him about his music.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at [email protected].