Time to evolve in Idaho

"But it isn't fair," a child in his teens said about the judgments and preconceptions of others. "I know," I replied; "but life isn't about fair. It's about understanding each other."

How often that is true. Individuals young and old are slow to change notions preconceived or perceptions long-developed, but they can and do, over time. Cultures are even slower to shift, but they too evolve.

I see our own evolving now, nationally and in this state.

Seek first to understand (others), then to be understood (by others.) That's No. 5 of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, a nugget of simple wisdom and effective communication that seems apropos.

Sunday I met several friendly, courteous delegates from a university in Guangzhou, China. They'd just reached an agreement with University of Idaho to open a branch of the "Confucius Institute" - an educational outreach and cultural exchange program designed to encourage the sharing of Chinese language and culture in other countries. One hundred of these institutes already exist in the U.S.; this will be the first in Idaho (in Moscow).

Undoubtedly the news will be met with some resistance. Some here fear what they don't understand, and resist the embracing of anything "different." "That's just prejudice," others will say. In some cases, they may be right. In others, I wonder. It is very natural to want to hang on to one's identity. For some it is less xenophobic and more about a fear of losing one's own identity.

Of course, if that identity is secure it can't be lost, only enriched. But first we must seek to understand...

Take Texas, for example. I know; most of y'all (MLP approves this contraction for "you all") don't consider Texas its own culture. Unless you've lived there long enough to know that it is. Beyond Southern identity, Texans were literally their own country for a while, somewhere amid those flags of six nations who tried to stake claim. To a Texan that's as much emotional as historical.

Why Texans cling so fiercely to this cultural distinction also helps explain country singer Brad Paisley, who raised such a two-sided ruckus with his song, "Accidental Racist," when all he believes he did was try to bridge a gap. He explained in an AP article in Friday's Press that his goal was to share the Southern perspective, that symbols of an independent South and its history are about cultural identity, not racism, to most Southerners. That centuries-old perspective is at least as important to generations-long Southerners as state and local identity is to Idahoans whose ancestors planted roots here around 1900.

Like it or not, there's a strong element of truth to Paisley's assertions. I lived in Houston 23 years, and I can so attest. Texas has a clear identity, and it's natural to be proud of one's history, one's distinct culture, no matter where you live.

Who isn't? Around the world people feel proudly attached to their roots, their customs, what makes them different and distinct.

But we must evolve, even as we hang on. Nothing which is alive is not growing, so we must grow to stay alive. That includes culture.

When cultural symbols cause extreme harm to another group, incite obvious pain; when they are used to widely maim, kill, enslave and torture even after they are long used in innocence (the swastika, the confederate flag), we have changed or subdued them. We have seen the wisdom of letting go, but retaining core culture without creating harm to others. We have evolved.

Leaves may shed, but new ones grow. The tree remains.

One can remain proud of who one is. One can also respect who another is, by seeking to understand before expecting to be understood. We can do both to mutual benefit if we are willing to grow as a species, together. Knowing and respecting another perspective is no threat to our own, if we are truly secure in it.

This begins by understanding each other with compassion, by imagining walking in another's shoes as that person is, not as we are. As individuals with different experiences and ways of expressions, one style, gesture, or manner may not mean the same elsewhere as it does here, so why assume otherwise?

We must understand each other as nations, too. As distinct and proud ethnic groups, cultures, races, religions, ages, abilities, and lifestyles within our own nation.

The child is right; it isn't fair to judge each another exclusively by one's own limited experiences and lifetime. But we can so easily expand judgment by seeking to understand the experiences of others. The beauty of it lies in a surprising side effect: The experience shines light on our own identities, expanding the understanding of self at the same time.

To know you is to know myself.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at [email protected].