Even one is worth it
Sinful. Weak. Manipulative and selfish. These are stigmas of suicide and fodder for its secrecy.
Someone in pain who could heal. That's the face of suicide, for whom stigmas prevent getting help. September is Suicide Prevention month, time to replace stigma with fact.
According to the Suicide Prevention and Action Network, Idaho ranks fourth in the nation for completed suicides (63 percent by firearm and 81 percent by men). Idaho's rates are 67 percent higher than the national average. That, not the commonly sensed embarrassment surrounding suicidal feelings, is something to feel ashamed about.
Studies also indicate that more than 85 percent of people who complete suicide had a mental health or substance abuse disorder. More than half had a positive blood-alcohol level. Most mental illnesses - which are chemically and biologically based brain disorders - and dependencies can be successfully treated. If those suffering get help. If those not suffering lend a hand, or at least tell someone, when signs are witnessed.
According to Stopasuicide.org, about 70 percent of the 37,000 who commit suicide in an average year (633,000 more visit the ER for self-inflicted injury, according to the CDC) told someone about their plans, or gave clear warning signs.
What are some of the signs?
* A previous suicide attempt
* Expressing: a desire to die, a belief others would be better off without him/her, feeling there's no way out
* Getting rid of possessions, putting affairs in order, saying goodbye
* Depressed mood with changes in appetite or sleep patterns
* A lack of interest in people, work, or participating in life
Although most depressed people are not suicidal, most suicidal people are depressed. If it's hard to tell the difference, err on the side of caution. The cost of a mistake is too high. Don't ignore it; take it seriously and tell family or friends. The conventional wisdom is QPR - question (are you thinking of ending your life), persuade (there's always hope; life by definition means change; I care; others would miss you), and refer (to a professional).
Idaho's suicide hotline is finally forthcoming; we have been the only remaining state without one. Meanwhile (800) 273-TALK is one of several national lines. Local charities also double crisis lines with suicide help, such as (208) 664-1443.
North Idaho is lucky to have its own chapter of SPAN, which provides information, support groups, and resources for those who need help, their families, and survivors. SPAN is volunteer-based, but they need resources to achieve their purpose. Their annual "Save The One Suicide Prevention Awareness Walk" along the Centennial Trail is Sat., Oct. 13, beginning with 9 a.m. registration at O'Shay's Restaurant in Coeur d'Alene. Contact Karen Petit at (208) 772-2353 or [email protected] for more information or to get help.
According to SPAN, Idahoans are more likely to have known someone who died by suicide than accident. Since our son's suicide last month, we have been saturated with personal stories told by strangers, friends, and acquaintances. Still more shared stories of their own attempts.
None of us enjoys talking (or writing) about it. Nor should we feel ashamed. Nor should anyone else have a need to. If all of SPAN's efforts, if this little column, if one person reaching out prevents even one more...
Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at [email protected].