Tattoo you
If you wander down to the beach at City Park on a summer day, you'd swear that Inkless skin has definitely lost favor in this day and age.
•••
Yep, the tattoo brigade has taken over.
•••
And in the grand scheme of things, I really have no problem with what people do with - or imbed into - their bodies.
I know, I know - tattoos are a way to "express yourself." They can be a conversation starter, as most any ink has a story behind its placement, and nowadays it has nothing to do with drunken sailor activities.
•••
Not to say that alcohol doesn't factor in here and there. I know I'd have to be pretty liquored up to go anywhere near an inked-up needle. I'm not sure what would be worse for me: The pain of the actual tattoo, or the awakening that that ink would be a part of me forever.
•••
My first experience with ink happened when I was a pre-teen, at a family reunion. One of my uncles pulled off his shirt to play volleyball on a warm summer day, revealing two blue blotches on his chest.
Apparently, decades before, these blotches were once a couple of bluebirds. But what I saw left quite a bit to the imagination.
•••
You can't escape the ink's stain on society. Walk by a magazine rack, and no doubt you'll see a half dozen or more mags showing off the latest and greatest in needled nirvana.
•••
These days, tattoo parlors are seemingly everywhere. Ink has spread to television as well, with such programs as Miami Ink and L.A. Ink giving us all a glimpse of the culture behind the needle.
•••
Currently running on SpikeTV, "Ink Master" is an actual competition amongst tattoo artists, now in its third season.
I try to follow here and there, but I can't help but wonder how much they are paying their human canvasses to get inked up for the judges. Some of the tattoos look a tad goofy, and I would need some major financial incentive to let someone "attempt" to do their best on my skin.
•••
I guess for me it all boils down to the finality of it. Do you really want some image affixed to you for life? What means so much to me that I need to have a constant reminder on my forearm? Hmm...
•••
And it's not just skin that is getting the treatment these days. You can also get the inside of your lip tattooed as well, just in case you want something more discreet and not "out there."
•••
Now, that's a real confusing one for me. You want some needlework, but to show it off, you'll have to turn your lip inside out. Again - hmmm... what to tattoo inside my lip? Maybe:
• Made you look!
• You like saliva, don't you?
• Wanna swap some spit?
Yep, you get the idea. Nothing I can't do without.
•••
Maybe I'm missing something, but I'm pretty sure my freckled skin will remain inkless.
•••
After all, when I pull off my shirt to play volleyball next summer, does anybody really want to see the words "I really have nothing to say" stitched across my back?
Jerry Hitchcock, a blank canvass, is a copy editor for The Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, Ext 2017, or via email at [email protected].