Thanksgiving guilt: Pay it forward

A hot shower. A down comforter. A pantry full of food and the reaction, "There's nothing to eat."

How spoiled I am.

Each year as winter's less-than-tentative approach cloaks us with a wet chill, I feel happy (yes, I'm weird). I also feel guilty.

Maybe it's leftover Catholic guilt. Maybe it's cultural - that obligatory self-reproach that goes with being Persian. Between the two I'm doomed; no good feeling can be free for long.

Still, it's more than that. As I pet the purring kitty each morning, irritated that she interrupts my first cup of wake-up coffee with her demands (as every feline's owner knows, it's all about the kitty), I think again, "You really are lucky."

Soft kitty fur. A cozy bed and the whir of the heater coming on. Coffee - not just coffee, but at this phase in my life, the good stuff: Starbucks every morning. Thank you, Seattle.

Sometimes I lay awake at night worrying. Sure, like most women I worry about everything anyway. I worry about our children and grandchildren, job security, the budget (household and national), the ancient carpet that needs replacing but for which I can't bring myself to spend what I've worked so hard to save.

As the weather gets colder, I lose sleep with another worry. I hear rain, snow, and sleet against the window and I imagine it pounding on my head and skin, cold wet seeping through my clothes as I wonder if I'm safe where I huddle against cold brick or tree.

I hear the howling wind, snuggle in deep, and again feel so glad I'm in our four-bedroom home. Then comes the guilt... You know, when I think about how many hundreds right here in this county are losing sleep because they're outside at the same moment I'm pulling up the bedcovers.

November is Homelessness Awareness Month. If you're reading this column with a full tummy in a well-heated building and can look forward to a soft bed tonight, be thankful. Please, please show it by donating sleeping bags, blankets, coats, food, and cash to homeless shelters and food banks. Send me an email if you don't know where to take them.

And happy giving-and-thanks day.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Email [email protected].