Teachable moments go both directions

Since sharing my thoughts on school spirit in a Facebook post after attending a high school basketball game last Friday night, the storm has swelled. I communicate for a living so I did what I do, put my feelings and observations in writing. It was an accurate depiction of what I saw and what I felt, from my seat in the bleachers as a fan.

I've been the target of some very personal shots as well as high fives in the comment section and in over three dozen emails and FB messages. Parents, teachers, alumni, boosters and administrators and trustees have weighed in behind the scenes. But not until a CHS senior, Alec Hamilton, sent me a message Tuesday morning did the teachable moment come full circle. I appreciate Alec for taking the time to tell me what he saw, felt and intended from his seat in the student section of the CHS gym on Friday night. The last sentence of his message is the one question that needed to be asked, and in turn answered. Sincere appreciation to Alec for giving me permission to share his message."Can I just comment that as an 18 y.o. high school student at CHS, that you posting what you did on your Facebook page, makes you no better than any of the kids that you are ragging on in the post, you know just as well as I do that a posting on Facebook is drama waiting to happen. I was in the Blue Zoo that night, and I can promise you that we did not intend for Red Neck Night to be directed at Post Falls and their players, we've worn it while playing numerous other teams last year and years before. If kids are supposed to learn from their parents and "responsible" adults of the community, then what exactly are YOU trying to teach us?"

We all view the world with different filters, generational and otherwise. In my case I have a bully pulpit for expressing an opinion. In retrospect, I wrote the note on Friday night not simply to vent but to expand the dialogue of appropriate school behavior with my "friends" on Facebook, specifically in enthusiastically cheering FOR your team and not tearing down your opponent.Simple as that ... except it wasn't as simple as that. It became an Us against Them with Post Falls and Coeur d'Alene and no shortage of people attempting to paint me as a disgruntled sore loser. Nothing could be further from the truth. I know with certainty I would have written exactly what I did had the score of the game been reversed. But Alec's question at the end of his message is the one I'd like to answer. Kind of a "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" opportunity.Alec, I sincerely hoped that everyone, the adults and the young people on both sides of the gymnasium, would stop for a moment and think about how someone else might perceive words and actions. That what might seem all in fun can have a far-reaching impact. Everyone does view the world differently and what I know over four decades out of high school - and that you'll know one day, too - is that the memories and friendships you make in school will be a valued shared history connection that will last your lifetime.

What I also know is that we do have a responsibility to you, not only to talk a good game on appropriate behavior but to mirror it as well. It's not just in high school athletics but in the business community, too, that sometimes the rivalry can take a mean-spirited turn. Your generation is bombarded with bad behavior examples, be it with social media, professional sports, on reality TV or the reality of an election. We also have a responsibility to set boundaries in addition to good examples. It's important that you and your peers do witness the grown-ups in your life modeling citizenship and respectful behavior in order to practice it yourselves. This certainly has been a teachable moment, full circle.

***Happy Birthday today to Travis Chaney, Mike Webb, BJ Holinka, Dustin Peacock and Nina Tikalsky. On Thursday Austin Isakson, Wade McLean, Gavin Krieg, Ryan Brodwater, Terry Drapeau and Johnna Wells blow out their candles. On Friday Bob Short is the birthday boy and Nicole Jones and Mary Crosby will celebrate on Saturday. Sunday Eric English, Analisa Raynor, Nora Horn, Glen Abbott and Peggy Brothers are putting on the party hats. Monday birthdays belong to Chelsea Dickinson, Daryl Gankema, Joy Lynch, Pam Nordby and Jamie Crawford. Sue Myers, Ed Santos, Marion Richardson, May Lynn Hammond, Tina Nowoj, Josh Adams and Danelle Reagan were all born on Jan. 24.

***Kerri Rankin Thoreson is a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists and the former publisher of the Post Falls Tribune. She was voted Best Local Writer for 2011 by the readers of the North Idaho Business Journal. Main Street appears every Wednesday in The Press and Kerri is on the air Mondays and Wednesdays on 1080 ESPN AM (KVNI). She can be reached at [email protected]