The Dash

This month I turn 30. I face the coming day with much less trepidation than I did a few months ago. There is something about this milestone that prompts intense self-examination and reflection more broadly. As an ambitious person, there are always goals that are left unmet on self-imposed timelines. Reflection on those failures can be disheartening at times. At the same time, I have come to the somber yet settling realization that I don't get to live forever. However the focus through that consideration has narrowed to two realizations: The quality of life is much more important than my quantity of achievements, and that, for me, that quality comes from a balance between the large and small things in life.

There was a time in my life when all that really mattered was fishing, I spent more time on the back of a horse than in front of a computer, my cowboy hat went everywhere that I did, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I despised lawyers and wolves equally. In my self-portrait, despite being a lawyer, not much has changed. But most people who know me now would be confused to see that image. And the reality is, that image probably isn't accurate anymore (although, I still maintain that the Canadian gray wolf is an invasive species).

In a way, I mourn the loss of that identity. However I have traded it in part for what I believe to be the pursuit of justice. I have found purpose in public service. I try not to live my life selfishly and to give back with what I have been given. This means that horseback riding and fishing have taken a back seat. For the most part, I am OK with that. However, I fear I have gone from one extreme to another. My ambition to be the best public servant I can be has left little time for enjoyment of the things I love.

Garth Brooks sang that "there's two dates in time that they'll carve on your stone, and everyone knows what they mean, but what's more important is the time that is known in that little dash there in between."

I share my reflections in hope that my story can serve as a reminder of the importance of balance to this time we are given. My rush to influence the world around me has left certain parts of me empty, just as a path of a more recreation-filled life would. I would feel ungrateful and unhappy if I chose not to follow my philanthropic ambitions that keep me busy. However, I need both. And I think that we all do.

Life is about balance, and that balance is different for everyone. Time with family needs to be balanced with time alone. Time with work needs to be balanced with time with loved ones. To choose either one over the other entirely is to waste a valuable gift.

I have been dashing through life without much time to enjoy it. My goal is to spend a little more time enjoying my time here and the gifts I have been given, while still doing my best to give back in a grateful manner. Perhaps, and I pray that, my next 30 years will be as rich as the first. This time I will take a little more time to appreciate them.

Luke Malek is a Kootenai County native and an attorney. He can be reached at [email protected].