My 2012 ... girlier, stormier, still here

Each year Yahoo! wades through its news pages and dusts off its researchers to come up with its own version of Nostradamus predictions, at least for the new year. Using historical events, elections, stock markets, sports, technical innovations and pop culture, here's a glimpse at what they came up with for 2012:

Female in fashion: Girls will finally be girls, again. Think 1940s: flirty, feminine dresses with swilling skirts will greet homecoming soldiers, they say. Gosh, that image is familiar. Speaking of war, the former director of the Counterinsurgency Training Center predicts soldiers leaving Afghanistan will go quietly; the feared worst case scenarios won't happen. Here's hoping.

Weather extremes: The USGS associate director says Earth's warming will prolong La Nina's ruckus-raising with intense and violent storms and unfortunately, continued drought in the South. Mother Nature yet reigns supreme.

Technology hyperdrive: We'll pay bills with smartphones, do more business online, and use car-mounted GPS units to advertise. Great; we needed more driving distractions.

Meager money: Stock market predictions are low-key. Not much worse, but "better" will arrive like the tortoise, not the hare.

Fantasy: Movie buffs should be happy. Several blockbusters are on the way, with a focus on superheros like Bond and Spiderman, and - shudder - another Twilight installment. The morose Bella, a mother? Puh-leez.

Armageddon: Now as far as all this being bunk because the world's allegedly going to end in 2012, more on that later. Even the Mayanist scholars say I'll be around long enough to elaborate, so don't stock up on essentials just yet (except water - the pipes could freeze). However, the obsession with the notion of end-time will continue; it's far too convenient a motivator.

So will the resurgent interest in predictions and predictors, with commercial highlights no doubt. Where's the remote?

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network who doesn't give a hoot about predictions. Email [email protected]