McEuen plan dead; here comes China
<p>Crews had already removed 74 million cubic feet of soil and rock from McEuen Field by noon on Thursday as construction moves forward at a unprecedented rate on the City of Coeur d'Alene's new tunnel to China. Completion of the tunnel is slated be wrapped up by Monday afternoon.</p>
COEUR d'ALENE - Think back to your childhood days. Remember when you thought you could dig a hole and eventually end up in China?
That adventure has now officially begun.
In a cooperative effort between the Chinese government, the city of Coeur d'Alene and the Coeur d'Alene Chamber of Commerce, a new commercial venture is about to be launched - underground.
Construction began yesterday on both ends of a tunnel that will connect the very center of China with its point exactly on the other side of Earth. Much to the surprise of North Idahoans, that precise point is the middle of McEuen Field.
"We were shocked when geologists told us that this is going to happen right here in our backyard," said Kroc Grok, Coeur d'Alene spokesman. "The bad news is that it's going to rip up all of McEuen for a generation or two. The good news is that the Third Street boat ramp will be saved."
Coeur d'Alene will receive no consideration, financial or otherwise, for the decimation of McEuen, Grok said. "But think about it: Our relationship with China might improve, so that's a plus, isn't it?"
The tunnel, when it opens at roughly the same time EPA cleanup of the basin ends, will connect Coeur d'Alene with a region of China inhabited by yaks, woolly mammoths and wily coyotes. Attached to both ends of the tunnel will be enormous parachutes which will catch the goods being dropped from one nation to the other.
"The architects believe that in addition to heavy metals, accounts payable and cheap toys, we'll be able to drop people," Grok said. "They might get singed a bit near the center of the Earth, but if they survive that, they'll arrive in China in roughly half the time it would take to fly there. The key is to not get half the person there in twice the time."
Construction is expected to take upward of 100 years and cost Kootenai County taxpayers roughly half their annual income. While the decision to dig is irreversible, Grok said, the city and chamber expect one or two complaints. Those folks should call the China-or-Bust hotline at 1-800-