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Negotiating 101: 40 years of experience

by Harvey Mackay
| September 12, 2010 9:00 PM

If you ask me what one skill has made the biggest difference in my career, hands down I would say: negotiating. It applies to selling, purchasing, hiring, firing, expanding, downsizing and every other phase of business you can name. It's part of the game that I am particularly fond of, and it's not just to see how much I can get the other person to give. I like to learn from the varied strategies that other people use.

Here are some of the lessons I have learned over a lifetime:

1. You can't negotiate anything unless you absolutely know the market. Only then will you be able to recognize a good deal when you see it.

2. If you can't say yes, it's no. Don't sugarcoat it. Don't talk yourself into yes just to seem like a nice guy. No one ever went broke because he or she said "NO" too often.

3. The single biggest tool in any negotiation is the willingness to get up and walk away from the table without a deal.

4. Always, always, before you begin any negotiation, look beyond the title and make sure the person you're

dealing with is in a position of authority to sign off on the agreement. If not, don't deal until you can negotiate with someone who is.

5. It's not how much it's worth. It's how much people think it's worth.

6. Many people listen ... very few actually hear. You can't learn anything if you are doing all the talking.

7. In any negotiation, the given reason is seldom the real reason. Find out the real reason, and your probability of success goes up dramatically.

8. No one ever choked to death swallowing "his" or "her" own pride.

9. In the long run, instincts are no match for information.

10. There's no more certain recipe for disaster than a decision based on emotion. Or another way of saying this is: Make decisions with your heart, and you'll end up with heart disease.

11. A dream is always a bargain no matter what you pay for it. If it's something you've always wanted, and this is your big chance to get it, go for it and make it work.

12. The most important term in any contract isn't "in" the contract. It's dealing with people who are honest. As the old adage goes: You lie down with dogs ... and you get up with fleas. Rotten wood cannot be carved.

13. There is no such thing as a "final offer."

14. Try to let the other person speak first.

15. Never give an ultimatum unless you mean it.

16. You cannot get dealt in with a straight flush unless you are in the game.

17. Smile and say no, no, no, no, no ... until your tongue bleeds.

18. Agreements prevent disagreements. You have to fight your guts out for an agreement and then you won't have a disagreement.

19. If you can afford to buy your way out of a problem, you don't have a problem.

20. More deals result from whom you know than what you know. And it's not just whom you know but how you get to know them.

21. The walls have ears. Don't discuss any business where others can overhear it. Almost as many deals have gone down in elevators as elevators have gone down.

22. People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan. Top negotiators debrief themselves. They keep a book on themselves and their opponents. You never know when that information may be gold.

23. Your day usually goes the way the corners of your mouth turn. Your attitude determines your altitude.

24. People go around all their lives saying: What should I buy? What should I sell? Wrong question: When should I buy? When should I sell? Timing is everything.

Mackay's Moral: 25. When a person with money meets a person with experience, the person with the experience ends up with the money and the person with the money ends up with the experience.

Harvey Mackay is author of the New York Times best-seller "Pushing the Envelope" (Ballantine Books). He can be reached through his website: www.mackay.com; or Mackay Envelope Corp., 2100 Elm St., Minneapolis, MN 55414.