Watch your back, Dave

While NBC managed to shoot itself in the feathers when it decided to "retire" Leno from "The Tonight Show," it quickly realized its mistake and amid much media hubbub reversed course.

Steve Allen. Jack Paar. Johnny Carson. Jay Leno.

Conan O'Brien? Thanks, but no thanks. There is a better choice.

While NBC managed to shoot itself in the feathers when it decided to "retire" Leno from "The Tonight Show," it quickly realized its mistake and amid much media hubbub reversed course.

But eventually even Leno will want to retire to his garage, and the search will be on for a replacement. On his second night back, Jay might well have predicted the future. While he and Dave may have recently buried the hatchet in their rivalry, where's the fun in that?

On that first Tuesday night back in the 11:35 p.m. slot, Jay introduced a fresh comedy face, one perfect for rekindling the late-night duel, and one that would change the look of the hour with a feminine face.

You probably guessed by now, I'm talking about Sarah Palin. She and Letterman have traded barbs for months: Just think of the fun if she was his rival for ratings.

The real "perky one," as she once called Katie Couric in what could only be a case of personality projection, with her guttural vocal inflections and facial convolutions, would be perfect for the job.

Celebrities and politicians have always been prime targets of comics at all hours of the day and night. Who better than the pit bull in lipstick to take them all on, along with the "broken" mainstream media that has so mistreated her for the past couple of years?

Palin told Leno her early dream had been to be a sportscaster, and she's already getting face time on Fox News. When he suggested she might become a talk show host, she replied, "I hear once in a while this one comes open."

She demonstrated she can poke fun at herself in her brief stand-up bit.

"I know these jokes like the front of my hand," she said, showing what she called the "poor boy's version of the teleprompter," notes written on her palm, reflecting the notorious crib notes used during a recent speech that provided so much fodder for comic ridicule.

And just think of all the caffeinated, high-strung teapartiers she could bring to the ratings race.

One of the main operating principles of competition is not to mention your opposition too much, as it just keeps their name out there. But "The Tonight Show" and Letterman could all benefit from this battle. There is no way either could resist the temptation to snipe at each other.

All she needs is the same backup the others have - a good writing team. She promised to annoy her critics by continuing to use her Palm Pilot. And some of her material is already memorized. How long do you think it would be before political foes and allies showed up on the show?

One, eventually, would have to be Vice President Joe Biden, and that introduction is already written.

"Do you mind if I call you Joe?" Palin would have to use again for comedic effect.

As for the bits that break up the monologue and the duller parts of the show, Letterman has his Top 10, and Leno has "Jaywalking," which takes to the streets to randomly demonstrate the historical and political unawareness of ordinary Americans.

Sarah wouldn't have to leave the studio for her version. She could just call it "Sarah Talking." But please don't drop "Headlines." The Press might have an item for you once in a while.

"The Tonight Show," with Sarah Palin?

You betcha.