Family violence follow up

Over the last three years of writing my column, I have experienced a couple of times I have written a column only to be given a reality check. This happened last week when I wrote about domestic violence. I told women of some avenues to get help, only to find the system in its current form has some holes and shortcomings.

It is a true statement that DV is falling, it's also true to say there are lots of wonderful people, locally and across the nation, who are providing help for families devastated by domestic violence. However, painfully there are still women who are being abused daily in communities across the nation.

What I didn't address as clearly as I should, are the individuals effected by domestic abuse. Shortly after my column appeared in The Press last week, I received an e-mail from a reader who relayed to me the story of a neighbor who had abused his wife. This reader and their family helped the woman, by tending to her wounds and calling emergency services.

What happened next, happens all too often with victims of domestic violence. Because human beings are involved, the investigation and prosecution has been a challenge. The entire neighborhood has been traumatized by the event, as people are invested in the lives of the people who live near them. This kind of investment, while sometimes emotionally expensive, should be encouraged in society.

This incident and the resulting frustration of trying to bring an abuser to justice and save a family from abuse, has generated attention to the personal side of the social malady, domestic violence. So I wish to provide information so you can know what to do if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence.

The first thing you need to do is report the incident to the authorities. If the incident is occurring, call 911 and report it. If the incident occurred in the past, then encourage the victim to contact their local women's center/shelter. Try to encourage the victim to go to the hospital, as hospital staff has the ability to help with the physical trauma and resources to help with the emotional trauma as well.

If you are the victim, get help! Many people and organizations are available who want very much to help you. There is shelter space for you and your children where you will be safe and counseling services to help you begin to make a life for yourself without abuse. If you can summon the courage to ask for help, you can change your life for you, your children, and even your partner if they will accept counseling help as well. I have seen the positive effects of these kinds of counseling services.

Please get the help you and your family deserve. If you see or suspect domestic violence, encourage the victim to get help. By doing so, you improve your neighborhood, break a cycle of violence, provide relief to a host of social problems, and in the end the greatest service you do, may well be to yourself.

Mark Altman is a speaker and leadership consultant with the Altman Leadership Center. He is an international speaker with two books and a DVD that can be purchased on Amazon.com. He can be reached at mark@leadright.net.