Sholeh Patrick

Valentine's Day has evolved. Initially it was just for lovers. Now, parents buy stuffed animals and candy for their kids; friends, for each other. I'm not sure what the rules are anymore.

Gifts - at least the commercial standards - cost. These days that's more of a barrier, but love needn't cost. Togetherness, mutual focus is the point of Feb. 14 - in every form of love.

Togetherness is powerful stuff. Studies of love's benefits abound and share a conclusion: Love is healthy.

Feelings of love, compassion and kindness are scientifically correlated with better health; loneliness, anger, and bitterness with higher rates of disease. Animals provide similar benefits; repeated studies have shown positive effects of pet ownership on both physical and mental health. I've shared these supporting statistics in past columns.

For the married, flowers and balloons are nice, but the best gifts are those we already have. According to the Mayo Clinic, decades of studies on benefits of healthy marriage (abuse creates opposite effects) concluded:

n Married women live up to 20 percent longer than single women

n Married men are two to three times less likely to die of heart disease than single men

n Both have lower rates of heart and liver disease and cancer

n Both have less stress (shared responsibilities; not just someone to talk with)

Another benefit of togetherness is safety. Married or cohabitating partners are less likely to be victims of sexual assault or other violent crimes.

Why all this is true is not just about emotional support or feeling less lonely. It's also practical. Pooling financial resources, an expanded family network of support, and combined incomes with increased access to health care and food choices all play a part, especially over the long term.

Still, it's not all peaches and cream. There is one area where married people fail compared to singles: Weight control.

But let's not worry about that while celebrating Valentine's Day. Those truffles from Pilgrim's are calling me.

Sholeh Patrick is the luckiest, most happily spoiled wife and devoted to a man with whom every day really does feel like Valentine's Day - you're the best present.

Sholeh Patrick