Close encounters
Some stories upset me terribly, many about the sufferings or deaths of kids. Recently a 4-year-old boy was saved from drowning in the water at Independence Point after floating on his stomach for a short time. Some folks there knew how to resuscitate the little tyke so the story had a happy ending; also on that day we read of a near fatal drowning at a public swimming pool in Spokane. My son, Fred, now married with two boys of his own, lived through a near-miss many years ago.
His brush with disaster was at a Lutheran Church camp in California about 1975 when he was 2. His sister Jennifer, then 4, told mom, "Freddie is swimming in the pool," which was still closed for winter. The women around the pool snagged Fred easily and after a little sputtering, he was back to normal. He had taken a swimming class the year before which coupled with Jennifer's quick thinking made for another happy ending. The water was cold enough that things could have gone bad in minutes.
How long had the adults taken their eyes off Fred? A minute or two, perhaps. Show me a parent who claims never to have let his or her guard down for that long and I will show you a parent who is probably exaggerating his or her vigilance. About that same year, a small child was badly burned in Flagstaff, Ariz., where we lived, after stepping barefoot onto hot asphalt; his mom had looked away for only an instant.
Most parents realize that if their kids grow up at all it is partly the result of divine intervention or blind luck, maybe both. It is impossible to watch children every second 24/7. Vigilance, proper training of children to avoid hazards, common sense - all of these help to keep kids safe. But when such efforts fail, compassion is our only recourse.
Returning to the asphalt in Arizona, one of my students at the time was quick to assign blame and say children should be taken away from parents like that, presumably the ones who make mistakes. By now, I imagine, that same student probably has children of his own and realizes just how close to us accidents and tragedies always are. Not long ago crib deaths were investigated as possible infanticides or neglect cases by parents. We now accept them for what they are, tragedies beyond our control.
A friend in Arizona worked for Child Protective Services; she looked especially tired one morning. She had been called the night before to a rest area near Flagstaff because three children were sleeping with their parents under a car; the temperature was below zero. The parents did not have money for gas, lodging or food. Certainly there was an endangerment issue. But shouldn't we separate in our minds parents who have no resources from those who leave their kids in a car on a hot day while they gamble at a casino or drink at a bar? Isn't that where compassion enters in?
I am a longtime grandfather nowadays so maybe I can stop worrying about the children of this world, at least to the same degree as formerly. Still, I have a newly rediscovered friend in Florida who raised some grandchildren because his own child was not competent to do so. All in all, it probably does take a village, after all. Best wishes to all of you who are still raising children. May Nature's God, a term Jefferson used in the Declaration of Independence, smile upon you and your offspring.
Tim Hunt, the son of a linotype operator, is a retired college professor and nonprofit administrator who lives in Hayden with his wife and three cats. He can be reached at linotype.hunt785@gmail.com.