Huckleberries

Amber Copeland admits she knew nothing about politics when she ran twice for Coeur d’Alene council.

But she understood how to say much while knowing little, a gift that served her well in her failed council campaigns of 2011 and 2013.

She loved the attention.

“The validation was delicious,” Amber said in her self-published book, “Confessions of a Former Ugly Kid: A Transformation Story,” written this spring under the pen name Amber Denise.

In the self-help memoir, Amber lays herself bare. She was victimized by monsters, young ones, familial ones, relational ones. She abused alcohol and drugs. She hurt loved ones. She was self-loathing and out of control. All that began to change after jail and probation for a third DUI. She cleaned herself up and doggedly analyzed the reasons for her self-destructive life.

There were many.

Amber was considered strange and ugly by other children in her Bonners Ferry schools. She had silver teeth and unruly and prematurely gray hair. Her classmates called her a dog and barked at her.

Her Dad picked on her relentlessly, calling her names and saying hateful things. He pushed her buttons: “I never felt safe around him,” Amber said. “For the longest time, he was the villain of my story … until I was. … I understand him now.”

Outwardly, Amber appeared tough and rebellious. Inwardly, she was fragile and traumatized. She was so used to mistreatment and settling for broken relationships that she coped with a freak accident that cost her an eye. She was 20 and living in Coeur d’Alene when a roommate swung a cane playfully inside their home. The duck head snapped off, flew across the room, and destroyed her eye.

She was more concerned about losing her chances to be with the guilty party than she was her eye.

Such is the woeful backdrop for her intentional journey of self-discovery.

Amber began to dig out of her self-imposed prison by questioning her internal soundtrack. Was she really ugly and unlovable? Or were those images imposed by others? She knew she had talent and smarts. After all, she ran for council twice and tried out for “American Idol” three times.” Why was she settling for such loser boyfriends? She loved her daughters deeply. Why was she terrorizing them?

Amber provides the answers in her 179-page book (available in paperback at Amazon.com for $16.95).

Amber’s “Confessions” isn’t an autobiography. It’s a stream of valuable insights for those dealing with bad associations, trauma, abuse of all sorts, self-hate, and other self-limiting factors.

Amber’s life is now peopled with restored relationships and a healthy desire to help others.

Licensed to help

After a two-year hiatus, Councilman Dan English is a licensed counselor again. Dan, who started North Idaho Youth for Christ and Anchor House back in the day, let his license lapse during the pandemic.

In 1984, he was among the first applicants to get a license. He was No. 88. The certificates now number into the six digits.

Despite the lapsed license, Dan continued to use his counseling skills in his interactions with people especially, he said, “angry ones and mobs at council.”

Earlier this year, Dan enrolled in 40 hours of training courses, paid fees, and, voila, got a renewed license last week, still numbered 88.

Now, Dan’s looking for the right fit to use his certified skills. Maybe something with young people. He enjoys working half-time as a library clerk at North Idaho College.

“I still have something in the tank to share (with younger people),” Dan said. “Sometimes, I think I can play the kindly grandfather Giuseppe role when they need a little extra compassion and patience.”

Fan Mail

Janice Shay, a North Idaho resident for some 17 years, took issue with the use of “finicky” to describe local Republicans in the last Huckleberries column. She writes: “My family came from Canada and Russia. We ‘finicky’ GOP are so because we know how horrible things will be if we go down this socialist and Godless pathway we're steaming towards. I only wish that you could understand. Instead, you brand us with names. Have you ever spoken with someone like me, to hear "the other side"? I'm so very sorry to read that "little tag" on the end of an otherwise enjoyable column. Because you've sadly just divided us without even showing an interest in knowing the facts as to why we feel as we do. If you only could have talked with my dad, a true gentleman. Or myself. But have a truly blessed day, sir.”

Huckleberries

· Poet’s Corner: Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal/are quite extinct, though famous/but still breeding most prodigiously/is Homo Ignoramus – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“Survival of the Fittest”).

· Bumpersnicker (on a maroon sedan at the entrance to Riverstone): “Live, Laugh, Love … And If That Doesn’t Work … Load, Aim, Fire.”

· You don’t have to love dogs to enjoy Jon Mueller’s first-rate obituary for Tillie, his blue heeler mix who died Tuesday at age 14.5. Jon’s Facebook tribute offers fine lines like this: “She leaves behind many memories, two heartbroken masters, and a backyard of partially chewed toys.”

· Yesteryears: Forty years ago (July 6, 1982), the City Council banned high-rises on the shoreline. On a 4-2 vote, the council restricted building heights within 150 feet of Lake Coeur d’Alene – 30 feet for commercial, 20 feet for residential. No construction would be allowed within 40 feet of the lake. And that’s how we protected views of the waterfront – until we didn’t.

· On Jan. 21, Huckleberries introduced you to Ms. Swipe Left, a selective local woman who has high standards when using dating apps. Her new reasons to reject possible suitors include: Mentions tacos. Looks like my boss. Mentions politics. Cop haircut without being a cop. My friend’s husband. Gun pose. Beady eyes. Seems as though the male gene pool is still shallow.

Parting Shot

So what was worrying the pretty little heads of downtowners 35 years ago? Hooligans. They were spitting on pedestrians, using foul language, and urinating on the sidewalks – at least that’s what a rep for the Downtown Business and Professional Association told the City Council on July 7, 1987. The city was busy drafting ordinances that would ban bikes and skateboards on sidewalks -- and allow police to arrest youths for harassing pedestrians. Stephanie Smith, then 17, decried the negative labels bestowed on her friends and her. Said said: “We have no place else to go.” Dani Ebright, then 17, pleaded with the council to give skaters an alternative place to skate before taking away the sidewalks. Today, of course, Coeur d’Alene has one of the best Skate Parks in the Northwest. Who says City Hall never listens?

D.F. “Dave” Oliveria can be contacted at dfo@cdapress.com.