Finding hope through the holidays

Holiday songs, TV commercials and Christmas specials lead us to believe that we should feel maximum joy during the holiday season. But what happens when you feel anything but joyful?

It’s normal to notice you’re feeling less than enthusiastic about this holiday season. North Idaho is experiencing shorter days, colder temperatures, and more overcast skies. There’s still a pandemic causing chronic uncertainty and making it difficult to travel and come together like we used to, says Tracey Sutton, Heritage Health’s VP of Therapy and Clinical Services.

“Talking about your feelings with loved ones regarding the changes you have endured, loss of traditions, unmet expectations for this holiday season encourages a sense of connection that can last throughout the year,” said Sutton.

Here are some of Sutton’s tips:

1) Build a Gratitude Practice

Take a few minutes each day to slow down and think about something in your life you are grateful to have. A good habit is to write things down. Maybe this is a practice you can share with loved ones as you talk about what you’re grateful for in your life.

Generosity is the other side of the gratitude coin. Others benefit from hearing what you are grateful for, so sharing with those around you is an act of generosity in and of itself. Hope is truly a skill set and developing a gratitude mindset and sense of resiliency takes practice.

2) Notice Seasonal Changes in Your Mood

For some folks, a seasonal mood shift is connected to a lack of daylight. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects an estimated 10 million Americans each year. You might notice that you’re more tired when it gets dark earlier.

Our natural biological tendency is to turn inward with the shorter daylight hours. If you experience anxiety or depression, this can feel overwhelming or even debilitating. You might feel like you are losing hope. Disconnection from our feelings or numbing out is a typical brain response to emotional overwhelm. Talk to your counselor if you notice your mood changes as the days get shorter. Taking walks outdoors or incorporating daily movement into your life can also help. Some people benefit from using light therapy in the winter.

3) Give Yourself Space to Grieve

The holidays can amplify a clearly defined loss or unresolved grief from the more general losses we’ve all experienced over almost two years. Maybe it’s your first holiday without a loved one. If you’ve moved to a new home in the last year, you may feel a sense of loss of traditions that started in your previous home. Maybe you’ve had a colleague move away, or you’ve changed jobs. It’s essential to pay close attention to how loss impacts your children or children close to you. Youth may become more withdrawn during the holidays, experiencing disturbed sleep or eating patterns. These are warning signs and you should pay attention to them.

When we’re weighed down by the expectations of what a “perfect” holiday season should feel like, even small losses can pile up. A loss of connection with family, or even just the community polarization we’re experiencing, hurts. If you feel you aren’t being treated fairly or don’t have control over your life, it impacts your ability to feel joyful in the holiday season.

Start by acknowledging what you’ve lost and give yourself space to feel. Consider writing down what you’re feeling to help you process it. Talking with a mental health professional can also be helpful.

For me, this is an ongoing process. The pandemic is over a year old. COVID-19 fatigue is real. We’re living the reality that “history is the study of surprises,” as historian Edward O’Donnell says. When we feel like we’ve settled into some kind of normal, something changes.

To maintain our mental health and thrive, we have to develop resiliency to endure surprise after surprise. I look to my resources — family, friends, faith, exercise, gratitude lists — for support. I also return to activities that I’ve enjoyed in the past.

Remember, if you ever feel you’re losing hope or just need someone to talk to, the Idaho Suicide Prevention Hotline is always a call or text away. You don’t need to be suicidal to call. It is a free resource open to everyone. The North Idaho Crisis Center is open 24/7 to help locally if you have a health crisis or a substance abuse or alcohol problem.

At Heritage Health, we offer counseling services so you can talk with an unbiased individual about your situation. We take a holistic approach to healthcare because you cannot separate the emotional from the physical. We’re here always here to support you on your healthcare journey.