If you asked a movie guy: 'Fyre,' Rami Malek, and more

Roger Ebert wrote many excellent essays on great movies, and he dedicated an equal amount of words to lesser films, even releasing collected book volumes of his most piercing cinematic takedowns.

One of the things I miss the most were his frequent Movie Answer Man columns, where average Joes and Janes send in various movie-related queries. Being arguably the most famous critic of his generation, Ebert always had plenty of questions to answer.

A secret nerd dream of mine was to have a similar column, but I don’t receive too many questions.

But just like my mom told me once to “follow your dreams” (I don’t think she had an English degree in mind), I’ve decided to do the Q&A movie column anyway, populated with completely made-up questions by made-up people.

Hey Tyler, you’re an old millennial… settle this once and for all. What’s the better documentary about your dumb generation? Netflix’s “Fyre” or Hulu’s “Fyre Fraud?” — Frankie Frankenson, Rathdrum

Ah, another classic showdown. Brings me back to the days of “Armageddon” vs. “Deep Impact” and “Dante’s Peak” vs. “Volcano.” Since neither documentary on the disastrous island-set music festival features a connection to Wallace, I’ll have to approach this challenge on merit alone.

Truthfully, both movies have their strengths and shortcomings, and the Hulu and Netflix folks have been tossing accusations of unethical filmmaking tactics at each other since they released a couple weeks ago.

Hulu’s “Fyre Fraud” tries to make a broader connection between the hubris and crimes of Fyre founder Billy McFarland and how an entire generation of social media-obsessed kids can be so easily conned by a FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) culture. It’s a bit dismissive and underdeveloped, but I do appreciate the attempt at a broader social message.

Netflix’s “Fyre” does a better job of humanizing McFarland’s victims, specifically the people who worked so hard to make his fantasy event happen only to be screwed over both emotionally and financially.

You probably don’t need to watch both documentaries, but there’s something fascinating about McFarland’s ability to create an image of power and success from lies and rhetoric. He’s not the only snake out there in the world, as we all know too well.

Tyler, I think it’s pretty despicable how much you dislike the Best Picture-nominated “Green Book.” Do you hate America? — J. Risch, Boise.

No, I don’t hate America, but I do have a problem with movies masking their antiquated ideas around simplistic and hollow sentimentality. And anyway, I don’t dislike the movie that much. It’s fine; just nowhere near Best Picture material.

I’m done griping about “Green Book,” as it isn’t even the worst Best Picture nominee in the bunch this year. That distinction belongs to “Bohemian Rhapsody,” a movie I finally caught up with last week. Look, I love Queen, but the movie is a dull hodgepodge of music biopic cliches. “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story,” a detailed (and underrated) parody of the genre, has more authenticity.

People love this movie for some reason, even after they find out it was (mostly) directed by Bryan Singer. The movie does land a pretty good magic trick at the end — a bombastic recreation of Queen’s Live Aid performance. It’s a rousing way to end a crummy movie.

Hey man, I just heard you hate “Bohemian Rhapsody.” You’re a real piece of scum. Anyway, do you think Rami Malek will win the Best Actor Oscar? — Joan Joanieson, Post Falls.

Malek certainly appears to be the frontrunner after winning the Screen Actors Guild award for Best Actor this past weekend. It seems to be down to Malek and Christian Bale, who played Dick Cheney in another Best Picture nominee I don’t like very much. This is all insane to me, because I thought Ethan Hawke gave the best male performance of the year in “First Reformed.” He didn’t even earn a nomination.

Malek isn’t bad in “Bohemian Rhapsody,” but I honestly don’t know why people seem so over the moon about him. It’s mostly a lip-synch performance (probably the right decision considering Freddie Mercury’s incomparable voice), but it doesn’t leave Malek with much to do besides spout stale dialogue in a very mannered accent.

Hey nerd, you seem to be an apologist for all those Marvel movies. So what’s your favorite superhero television show? — Rick Rickieson, Coeur d’Alene.

Though I watched and enjoyed the first season of Netflix’s “Daredevil,” I just can’t keep up with all this nonsense. I caught some of “Legion,” and I vaguely remember starting “The Flash” and “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” way back when. With television becoming so splintered, I don’t even know where half this stuff even airs. Ultimately, with only a finite amount of viewing time, I generally choose to watch movies over television shows. Ooh, except for “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” and, double ooh, “The Bachelor.”

Ha, ha, I heard you watch “The Bachelor.” That’s embarrassing. I don’t have a question, I just wanted to say I’m thinking about disowning you. — JoAnne Wilson, Coeur d’Alene.

Geez, even my own mother hates me in this made-up column.

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Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com