Love where you live

We all cherish the community we grew up in, especially when it’s in our rearview mirror. I lived in Coeur d’Alene a long time ago, but the small Wisconsin town I grew up in is a lot like your community — only much smaller with a lot more Germans. People were friendly and when they talked to you there was a deep-rooted feeling you could believe what they said. It’s hard to find that in a big city. If you’re smart you’ll never leave Coeur d’Alene. I wish I never did.

I’m sure many of you have witnessed how Coeur d’Alene has changed over the years. I can vividly remember when my hometown of Chilton, Wis., got its first traffic light. We had a huge celebration but many old people complained it was the end of civilization. Young people mocked them. Those of us in elementary school felt that traffic light was the most exciting thing we had ever seen, right up until the new Dairy Queen opened.

I was living in one of those small vacation cabins across the street from Lake Coeur d’Alene in 1980. Anybody remember those? They were torn down a long time ago and replaced with high rise condos. You can call that progress but I feel it was the end of civilization. Oh my God, I am old!

High school has always been a community in itself. If you’re athletic or popular, your high school memories are fond pages in a yearbook. For people like me it was life as a piñata. I was only 5-foot-4 and 135 pounds at graduation. I missed my five-year high school reunion, but by the 10th I was 6-foot-2 and 220 pounds. You always remember people from your last perspective, so I expected to look up at the bullies who once enjoyed stuffing me in a football equipment bag. They hadn’t changed much but now I was much bigger than them. If you’re smaller than the bullies in your school just know that won’t always be the case. When you are bigger and stronger than them one day, just smile and know they had their day but the future is all yours.

This might be hard to believe right now but life actually gets more exciting every year. You couldn’t convince me of that when I was in high school but it’s true. I know what it’s like to be living in pain when you wake up every day and feel like a square peg in a round hole. Life has a way of leveling the playing field. Your day will come. You are special and the world is waiting for you to seize the stage. Please, please just hang in there. Trust me, you are not alone. Just as a side note, if you haven’t discovered this already you will soon learn the world is full of idiots, but you are definitely not one of them. Don’t ever forget that!

Groucho Marx’s letter of resignation to the Friars’ Club stated: “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members.” He once attended a dinner party and found himself surrounded by Hollywood snobs. On his way out, the hostess asked why Groucho was leaving early. He replied, “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” These quotes have absolutely nothing to do with this column but I thought they were funny nonetheless.

It’s hard to believe that most of you in Coeur d’Alene actually know your neighbors. You might even speak with them occasionally. I live in L.A. and couldn’t tell you the name of the guy across the street if he was on fire and it took his name to turn on the garden hose. People in big cities tend to be inconsiderate and rude because they figure no one knows where they live. You can run but you can’t hide from Google.

I can understand why some Coeur d’Alene residents treat outsiders as though they carried the bubonic plague. You live in a slice of Heaven and not many people are willing to share that. It’s ironic that some of the nicest people in Coeur d’Alene arrived from somewhere else, totally uninvited. Groucho Marx would have loved Coeur d’Alene. I know I do.

Once a week I walk up to the Mobil station to buy my lottery tickets. I used to go twice a week but my wife insisted I put on pants whenever I go outside. When did life become so complicated? If you’re a lottery player like me, you have your dreams. If I win I plan on moving back to Coeur d’Alene. Just think, you’ll see my face every day. That possibility alone should keep some of you up at night.

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Tom Neuhoff is a Coeur d’Alene resident in his dreams. The rest of the time he resides in Hollywood.