Activate your active listening skills at work

With the passing of the holidays, the parties and family get-togethers, often individuals are left with the aftermath of problems created by lack of communication or poor communication. Relationships within the office often mirror family relationship patterns, so it is even more important to make sure that communication between staff members or between staff and management is clear and effective.

To accomplish this, a simple technique called "active listening" can be used to make sure that clear communication is achieved whenever instructions are given or discussion happens in the workplace. Half of communication is listening; often when one person in the conversation is stressed or anxious, listening falls into the background while the mind tries to create a response. As a result, sometimes what is said is not completely heard. Other times, conversations are filtered through the individual's personal view and/or family relationship issues, which can skew communication.

Active listening frees the listener from creating the response until the listener fully understands what the speaker is saying. In order to listen actively, the listener hears what the speaker is saying and then says in reply what they understood the speaker to have said, rather than respond to what they believe they heard. The speaker then confirms whether the listener has heard correctly. If not, the speaker restates what was said and the listener again confirms what the speaker said. If the listener has heard correctly, he responds to the speaker and the pattern starts again.

For example, the speaker says, "I have a project for you. Next week I would like you to begin to organize the files in my office." The listener might then respond by saying, "What I heard you say was that you want me to take your files, go through them and organize their contents." The speaker can then respond by saying, "No, what I meant to say was that I would like you to put my client files in alphabetical order, according to last name." The listener then responds by saying, "Oh, so what you are asking me to do is alphabetize by last name the files in your client filing cabinet." The speaker says, "Yes, that is correct and I would like you to start on Monday."

This simple technique, when used appropriately, can do away with many communication problems that have their start in misunderstandings. Even when issues arise, this technique can be used to straighten out what was misunderstood.

Kriss Mitchell is a licensed professional counselor and lifelong resident of the Inland Northwest. She owns Living Well Counseling and Consulting, LLC in Post Falls (208) 457-1999 or kriss@livingwellcc.com