Ding, ding, ding!
Congratulations, you’ve won an extra Chat Day this week.
How cool is THAT?
Content note: Next week I’ll be addressing all your responses from the survey concerning what you really like about living in Kootenai County — and also what might be bothering you.
Meanwhile, let’s get down to our Saturday chatting …
ITEM: What do you fear most around the house?
Well, according to a survey conducted by the home protection company A Secure Life, Idahoans are most afraid of mold.
Sounds reasonable, although you’d expect mold to be more of a worry in states with high levels of humidity.
To be honest, though, this whole state-by-state thing tossed out some wild information.
My favorites were Oklahoma and Iowa, where the No. 1 household fear, believe it or not, seems to be “Peeping Toms.”
Don’t they sell curtains in those states?
Our neighbors in Washington said their most prevalent fear is baby safety, which makes sense.
Oregonians, on the other hand, were far more practical and listed property values as their top concern.
In case you’re wondering, my vote for No. 1 fear was obvious: Sammie the World’s Greatest Cat falling into the toilet.
ITEM: Surely you remember Mrs. Language Person, and specifically her explanation of how those tutorials in The Press came to be.
She mentioned Miami-based columnist Dave Barry, which of course led me to find one of his outrageous language-related questions.
Here you go …
Q. What’s the correct way to spell words?
A. English spelling is unusual because our language is a rich verbal tapestry woven together from the tongues of the Greeks, the Latins, the Angles, the Klaxtons, the Celtics, the 76ers and many other ancient peoples, all of whom had severe drinking problems.
Look at the spelling they came up with for “colonel” (which is actually pronounced “lieutenant”) or “hors d’oeuvres” or “Cyndi Lauper.”
It’s so important that we old folks teach them the old reliable spelling rule that we learned as children, namely:
“I” before “C”
Or when followed by “T,”
O’er the ramparts we watched,
Not excluding joint taxpayers filing singly.
EXCEPTION: “Suzi’s All-Nite E-Z Drive-Thru Donut Shoppe.”
ITEM: Hey, a woman named Denise Mueller-Korenek just rode a custom bike at an average speed of 183.932 miles per hour at the Bonneville Salt Flats — shattering a world record for the fastest recorded cycling time.
You know, I think I know her.
The last time we met, she cut me off on Highway 41 — but I suspect she was only going about 150 at the time.
Stay on your side of the road, Denise.
ITEM: So, finally we get around to some photos of pets that actually aren’t cats.
And a huge thank you to the folks whose emails and pix simply vanished when my computer had a Twilight Zone moment. I appreciate them doing a re-send.
Remember now, I’d still like to fetch more pet photos, and let’s find something that isn’t a dog or cat — not that Sammie and I have anything against dogs and cats.
Um, I suppose I shouldn’t speak for Sammie …
Anyhow, I’m breathlessly waiting to see a llama, but if you’ve got a ferret or a boa constrictor that sleeps with you, well …
Send that fascinating stuff along, OK?
My email address is at the bottom of this column.
Now then, we get to our first dogs — and appropriately, the photo came from Debby Essman of Coeur d’Alene, who had to send emails to my traitorous computer three different times.
Her dogs are called Annie and Gus, and Annie loves to look for squirrels. Since she’s not a particularly tall beast, the cooperative Gus allows himself to be used as a platform.
I love his expression.
Cheers, and we’ll see you next Wednesday.
Celine Dion is off tonight, no doubt kicking back with some room service truffles.
She’ll be back, too.
Steve Cameron is a columnist for The Press.
A Brand New Day appears Wednesday through Saturday each week. Steve’s sports column runs on Tuesday.
Facebook: Steve Cameron