Staff writer
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| SHAWN GUST/Press Shannon Cervenka, who was abused as a child, credits ICARE for helping teach her important parenting skills that benefit both her and 4-year-old daughter Julia Melvin. |
ICARE classes teach proper parenting skills
Raising a little girl was a mystery to Shannon Cervenka.
Even at 4 years old, Julia was different than the boys Shannon had brought up before, with tantrums and attitude the mother couldn't control.
"I was like, 'How do I deal with her talking back to me? My boys never talked back to me,'" said Shannon, who was already struggling to piece her life back together in transitional housing in Coeur d'Alene. "Her emotions, her anger -- I thought, 'This is killing me.'"
All she knew was that she didn't want to beat her daughter the way Shannon had been by her own parents.
"I didn't know how to discipline her," Shannon said. "I knew my parents were wrong, and I wanted to do it the right way."
And after learning proper parenting skills through the ICARE children and advocacy center, she could declare this week: "I've never beat my daughter."
So many could learn from her.
A report released Wednesday by the Every Child Matters Education Fund revealed that five children in the U.S. die every day from abuse and neglect.
Although child abuse deaths are uncommon in North Idaho, agencies and nonprofits in the area say they are hammered by the issue, especially now as the wallowing economy loads more and more stress onto families.
"We've seen our numbers exponentially increase here at CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates)," said Judy Morbeck, executive director of the nonprofit that seeks to address the needs of abused and neglected children. "We think part of the problem is the economic downturn. When fragile families lose their jobs and lose their homes to foreclosure or they can't pay rent, terrible things start happening to children."
Between Oct. 2008 and Oct. 2009, Morbeck said, 729 children in the five northern counties were removed from their parents because of abuse and neglect, roughly 130 more than the year before.
Most cases occurred in Kootenai County.
"It's a big burden -- we are a volunteer organization, we're constantly recruiting and training and screening new volunteers," she said of finding people to represent the children in court. "And all agencies we work with, their case workers have huge caseloads, we're all seeing a strain."
Many cases tend to involve families in financially desperate circumstances, Morbeck said, unable to give children proper food or shelter.
"That's the neglect end of it, most people don't neglect their children because they want to, it's because they can't afford to do anything else," she said. "Most are either underemployed or unemployed and they can't make ends meet."
The agency also sees parents who have turned to drugs or alcohol because they couldn't cope with their situations, she said, and some have mental illnesses on top of that.
"It has a horrific affect when the children are living in an unstable environment -- sometimes the heat will be shut off, they don't have enough clothing, and the chaos begins when the sun goes down," she said. "There are a lot of domestic issues, especially with parent substance abusers. It has a huge impact on their (kids') ability to go to school and perform and function."
ICARE, which educates parents on abuse prevention, is seeing a much heavier demand of court-ordered and voluntary participants, said Director Beth Barclay.
"We're seeing families that have never had this problem before," she said. "This is the first time they've ever had to reach out for help, so it's not easy for them to do, they're not familiar with the resources."
She also attributes the stepped-up numbers to the recession, which she said amplifies the pressures that are the leading cause of child abuse.
"If mom loses a job and dad gets a major illness that costs a lot of money and pretty soon they get evicted, it just snowballs," she said.
Parents also tend to follow the example they had in their own youths, she added.
"If your childhood was not a happy place and you did not have good role models in raising you, then it will be hard to be good parents," she said. "That's what you know, and so that's what you do."
According to the Idaho Department of Health and Welfare, one child died of abuse and neglect in the Panhandle region between September 2008 and August 2009.
In that same span, 676 children were in foster care.
The year before that the state recorded no deaths, and 687 children in foster care.
IDHW spokeswoman Emily Simnitt said the state has made an effort to maintain children's services despite budget cuts.
"We've worked very diligently to preserve staffing levels for programs like child protection because we know it's a very important service that we provide," she said.
If the state is tipped off about potential child abuse, the entity collaborates with local law enforcement to evaluate the case, she said.
If danger is imminent, the state works with prosecutors to put the child in foster care.
"We do continue to work with families, we try to reunify parents with children whenever possible, Simnitt said. "We do what we can, giving them the resources they need."
CASA tries to help parents back on their feet by hooking them up with counseling, job training and substance abuse help, Morbeck said.
But it doesn't always get the kids back to their parents.
"It's a terrible percentage, about 55 percent," she said of the parents reunited with their kids. "A lot of them have really difficult substance abuse problems that are difficult to treat, underlying mental illnesses. You're virtually rebuilding from the ground up, and it takes a long, long time."
Any parents feeling frayed by their circumstances should call ICARE at 676-1515, Barclay said, so they can attend classes on relieving stress and relating to their children.
Morbeck said the general public can help out, too, by being vigilant of families around them.
Folks should report suspicions of abuse or neglect to law enforcement of IDHW.
"Not closing your eyes to it is really important," Mobeck said. "It's happening in your community, and it's happening right next door to you."
