Posted: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 - 11:28:35 pm PDT
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Tyler Wilson

Raiders of the secret plot

With just a week before the release of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," director Steven Spielberg remains tight-lipped. From script development to this weekend's premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, Spielberg almost kept the fourth installment in his Indy saga completely secret. Almost.

Though it hasn't yet screened to professional critics or general audiences, "Crystal Skull" had a few "secret" screenings to theater owners and executives last week. As a result, two ruthless reviews appeared on film site Aintitcool.com. After spilling some plot secrets, one of the reviewers said "Crystal Skull" was the "Indiana movie that you were dreading."

Now a movie buff should follow at least one rule when surfing the Internet: Never trust Harry Knowles and his site, Aintitcool.com. It's a place where spoilers run rampant and critiques contain more profanity than thoughtful discussion. The self-promotion is especially sickening. These guys love "Speed Racer" because they landed an interview with its star, Emile Hirsch.

Having said that, these "Crystal Skull" reviews have Indy fans uneasy. Maybe Indiana Jones should have made "The Last Crusade" his last ... well you get the point.

In interviews, producer George Lucas said fans should lower their anticipation level for "Crystal Skull." He didn't mean to say the movie was bad, but the man certainly has experience with unreasonable expectations. The 19-year gap has given audiences plenty of time to glorify the original trilogy. Let's just hope Lucas didn't insert Jar Jar Binks into the action.

The trailers for "Crystal Skull" seem strange, too. In an effort to hide the plot, the studio cut together a string of disjointed imagery. Reaction to the campaign hasn't been kind. You can't go anywhere online without reading some fanboy complaining about the computer-generated effects or Shia LaBeouf's "greaser" style.

I love all three Indiana Jones adventures, but I don't see the point in buying into this negative buzz. Nostalgia aside, the franchise is nothing more than serialized cheese inspired by similar cheese from 1930s Hollywood. The films rely on the charm of Harrison Ford and a steady flow of brainless action and one-liners. I accept them for what they are: B-grade movies made by an A-grade director.

I also accept that nothing will top "Raiders of the Lost Ark." It's the perfect B-movie, and that kind of magic is too accidental to replicate. All I ask is that the new film tops "Temple of Doom." If Kate Capshaw steered clear of the set, then everything should be fine.

All the Web nuts just need to calm down. Harrison will be fine. Shia will be fine. The special effects will be fine. If anything, I hope Spielberg made the effects appear lousy on purpose. Why not keep things consistent? I'm curious to see what a giant CGI boulder looks like, anyway.

I won't be offended if "Crystal Skull" sucks. A sub-par sequel will never harm the legacy of "Raiders" or the character of Indiana Jones. Nobody questions the brilliance of "Jaws" because of the stupidity in "Jaws 3-D."

So avoid the spoilers and gear up for whatever surprises Spielberg worked so hard to keep secret. No matter what, that John Williams score will sound spectacular blasting out the theater speakers.

Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.