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Wilson

Posted: Wednesday, Jul 25, 2007 - 09:45:46 pm PDT
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Tyler Wilson

A Jurassic smackdown

My wife is a true hero. Not only did her bladder save me from getting shot at by a crazed Las Vegas resident, her audacity salvaged "Walking with the Dinosaurs" for me and several other victimized attendees.

Now if you know me, you'd know that I love dinosaurs more than your average kindergartener. So naturally I ate up the chance to see giant, moving dino puppets at the Spokane Arena. It's like a live-action "Jurassic Park," except the dinosaurs don't eat anybody off of a toilet.

We settled into our seats on Saturday evening, munching on a giant pretzel and waited for the adventure to begin. A voice announced there was no flash photography allowed. About three dozen camera flashes erupted around the stadium when the lights dimmed, as if everybody collectively thought, "Screw the rules! We paid good money to get our out-of-focus shot of a puppet Velociraptor!"

Several minutes into the show, a family of four approached our row. The parents chatted with each other loudly as they passed, and their two young children were visibly terrified by the action on the Arena floor.

Now, I have reasonable expectations when I go to a kid-friendly show like this. I expect some child chatter. But this family clearly lacked the genes to be considerate to people around them.

The two children wailed in terror while the parents tried to console them, talking loudly over their screams. The young boy finally calmed down, but his dad kept chatting with him, as if he were at home watching Barney.

Pointed glares weren't working, and they were talking over the discussion of my favorite dinosaur, Stegosaurus. I'm fairly patient, but nobody messes with Stegosaurus.

Intermission came and I wanted to strangle somebody. Meanwhile the dad displayed some impressive parenting skills, telling his little girl to "grow up, act like a big girl and not be scared."

She was no older than three years old! Of course she's scared! They're huge, ridiculously real-looking monsters with big teeth!

We decided to give the family another chance in the second half. The father seemed to have threatened the little girl into submission, so we thought things might go smoother.

see WILSON, D6

WILSON

from D1

Not one minute later, the little girl started screaming, "I want to go to the car! Now! The car!" The proud pop kept yelling at her while everybody in our section glared at him.

Finally, my wife jumped into action. "You're ruining this for everybody around you. Your kids are miserable. You're miserable. We're all miserable!"

The father sat there in silence. Clearly agitated but lacking the brainpower for a clever retort, he finally mumbled, "Well... you... you shouldn't come to the show."

The wife continued to pressure him, and finally the folks around us turned on the brain-dead parents. "Take them out of here!" "Just leave!"

The mother finally screamed, "We are!" but showed no signs of leaving.

My wife: "Good! Leave faster!"

The family finally stood up and left. Between arriving late and being forced to leave early, they paid $130 to "watch" 10 minutes of the show. Vindication.

Why do people like this believe they're entitled to let their children scream through a public presentation? Who allows these people to breed? No wonder so many people stay away from movie theaters and watch everything on DVD nowadays.

But anyway, my experience with "Walking with the Dinosaurs" ruled because my wife wouldn't allow a couple of morons to take the spotlight away from beloved Stegosaurus. That's love right there.

Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.


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Hey Brian wrote on Aug 10, 2007 8:16 AM:

" If you're looking for a point, try the top of your head. "

You wrote on Aug 9, 2007 12:06 PM:

" are showing your age...LOL "

actually wrote on Aug 9, 2007 8:38 AM:

" Physical assault IS pretty funny - ever watch The Three Stooges? "

By the way wrote on Aug 9, 2007 7:26 AM:

" if you dont believe in physical attacks why are you threating me? GET OVER YOUR BIG BAD SELF. Help is just a phone call away my friend. Make the call. "

BUT ITS wrote on Aug 9, 2007 7:15 AM:

" OK,for Tyler and his wife to verbally bully 2 parents with kids and get all the other parents involved. Thats right? On your note, of asking someone to be considerate their are ways to handle it nicely. Tyler and his wife"s way isent one of them. "

to HAHA wrote on Aug 8, 2007 8:44 AM:

" Because physical assault and battery is HILARIOUS. What a psychopath. If you and your friends ever ruin something that I'm paying good money to see, I'll also tell you to knock it off. Violent threats shouldn't stop people from standing up for what's RIGHT. Asking someone to be considerate doesn't deserve a physical attack. At least you recognize that it's worthy of going to JAIL. People like you are purposely rude and irritating, and you think it's funny - but it's only funny to amoral people. THATS something to be proud of. "

HAHA wrote on Aug 7, 2007 7:14 PM:

" If Tyler and his wife treated me or any of my friends that way,I would have hopped the seat and slapped them into next week with a smile on my face as they karted me off to jail! LOL "

e-mail wrote on Aug 7, 2007 5:27 PM:

" Hey Wilson;how many of the complainers on here actually e-mailed you? I venture to guess that none of them did. (Cowards?) "

I get it wrote on Aug 7, 2007 4:01 PM:

" If you don't like what Tyler writes then stop reading his column, people with a sense of humor get it. Stop bringing Jesus into this, what does that have to do with this column? Because Tyler wrote that the family shouldn't be able to breed anymore...I agree, if you can't control the ones you have stop having them. It's people like you that run and tell on others everytime you don't agree with what's said even if it's not said to you or about you. Most parents don't control their kids in public. When I hear parents say "you don't even hear them when their yours". That's crap they hear it they just don't want to deal or don't know how to deal with it. Tyler paid good money to see the show why should he and his wife waste their money just so they don't offend people. More people need to handle situations like his wife, stand up for what's right not whats PC. "

Hey Tyler wrote on Aug 7, 2007 7:30 AM:

" I know that's you,spellig Nazi that you are...do you just write randomly? I mean is it your job to talk about yourself and other people all day? LOL "

Hey Tyler wrote on Aug 3, 2007 10:47 AM:

" you need to shave! "

Jurassic Smackdown wrote on Aug 2, 2007 12:45 PM:

" Loved this column. Heard it was getting quite a few crazy comments. People are nuts! "

toto breed wrote on Aug 2, 2007 8:41 AM:

" hilarious "

to to breed wrote on Aug 2, 2007 8:03 AM:

" Don't worry, it's just bragging - no woman has allowed him next to her in years "

to breed wrote on Aug 2, 2007 7:00 AM:

" your kind of scary. "

OH wrote on Aug 1, 2007 3:22 PM:

" I'm breeding like crazy now! "

breed wrote on Aug 1, 2007 12:55 PM:

" I hope all the stupid people on here aren't poisoning our population with their nasty children. Who allows these people to breed? God has a nasty sense of humor! "

If you wrote on Aug 1, 2007 8:35 AM:

" are going to attack someone on spelling punctuation,and capitals,you might want to check your own. "

cda press wrote on Jul 31, 2007 7:34 PM:

" This newspaper is a joke!!! "

to you all wrote on Jul 31, 2007 6:35 PM:

" especially the folks with the 3rd grade level grammar and spelling skills "

you all wrote on Jul 31, 2007 5:15 PM:

" have a lot of growing up to do "

tylers wrote on Jul 31, 2007 5:02 PM:

" comment was rude and there is more than me who think it was bad so whatever with your personal attacks at me ....stick it in your blow hole. "

By the way wrote on Jul 31, 2007 4:40 PM:

" thats real nice your typing like your me...sinking to a sad level there aren't you? "

oh yeah... wrote on Jul 31, 2007 4:33 PM:

" remember this one STICkS AN STOnES will break my bones but names will never hurt me.. I dont really care what you think LOL "

I didnt know wrote on Jul 31, 2007 4:27 PM:

" There was a spellig Nazi and if thats all ya got have at her LOOOSERRRRSSSSS.......ROTFLMAO "

maybe wrote on Jul 31, 2007 2:47 PM:

" Maybe I'm an idiot who doesn't know anything and likes to use CAPitAL letters and missspell things and dont like to use apostrophies cuz im to smart for that. "

to to OK wrote on Jul 31, 2007 2:42 PM:

" That's a darn fine idea! OK, Wilson - how about naming name so that we can ridicule the losers appropriately? "

to OK wrote on Jul 31, 2007 2:38 PM:

" It's not as if he named names, although I think he should have so we could point our internet fingers at them and laugh. So how is he using his job to hurt people? P.S. Pretty has an "e" in it. Who's the stupid one here? "

to OK wrote on Jul 31, 2007 1:46 PM:

" May I suggest that you take a writing class in order to learn the appropriate use of capital letters? "

maybe wrote on Jul 31, 2007 1:42 PM:

" Tyler should work for the inquirer, There is todays story about how the CPA guy didnt hang up the phone and got caught saying mean things about people,and ITS NOT OK ,but its ok for Tyler to do it because he didnt use their names??? STILL NOT RIGHT IN MY BOOK SORRY! tYLER HAS A GREAT JOB,that he can do and say wonderful things to people and he chooses to go the other route....that is a breed that needs to be crushed.How about an article on how to handle the situation????? DUH "

OK wrote on Jul 31, 2007 1:03 PM:

" RUDE and STUPID prtty much says it...about Tyler.....GEEZE they left that should have been the end of it not a verbal attack in the press!Thats real Nice that he can use his job to hurt people. "

to whatever wrote on Jul 31, 2007 12:37 PM:

" You sound like an angry, unhappy person. Have you considered coming to church and asking God to take your pain away? Maybe help you forgive whoever it was that hurt you so badly in the past? "

Haters wrote on Jul 31, 2007 12:24 PM:

" This column is fantastic. Not only does it entertain intelligent readers who can appreciate it's truth and humor, it also has created an opportunity for other fools to step up and show how rude and stupid they are. The people on here making personal attacks on the writer are more than likely the same type of people this article is making fun of. I can see why they're getting so hostile. It must have hit a little too close to home. I hope more idiots attack Tyler so my coworkers and I can laugh at them, too, and talk about how we wished Jebus wouldn't let them breed. Keep it coming Tyler! "

OK wrote on Jul 31, 2007 10:39 AM:

" the two articles I have read from Tyler were this one and one on the teenage ninja turtles movie which he couldent wait to see soooooooooooooooooooo, Id say hes a bit OF A CHILD HIMSELF and his wife is really the MOMMA trying to make his playtime more enjoyable....screw the kids there. "

whatever! wrote on Jul 30, 2007 8:55 PM:

" Seems the CDA press is all gung ho if they are letting this jerk print whatever he wants. So if that's the case lets just give it back and say, Who on earth wears a bright red shirt and poses for the news paper?... possibly a suit and tie next time for a little more respect. Get a decent haircut and stop going to the five and dime. Thirdly ever hear of thing called a nose trimmer? Oh and last but not least, try using some acne medicinefor all those blemishes. "

to WWJD wrote on Jul 30, 2007 6:15 PM:

" Hilarious. "

what a shame wrote on Jul 30, 2007 2:49 PM:

" I am not attacking Tyler for speaking up. I agree with him that this family should have been quiet, considerate of others and should have left, that is until he slams this family over and over PUBLICLY in the CDA PRESS!!! He just jumped to the level of the people in the theatre. Just because he was offended and annoyed that "his" show was interrupted does not give him the right to be so rude. I am shocked that the CDA Press allows such conduct from an employee. It's very tempting to address the CDA Press and voice a formal complaint...On another note, everyone with children knows that there are bad days and it is unfortunate they didn't know when to leave, however he still has no right to condemn this family and say such things as "Who allows these people to breed?" "

to WWJD wrote on Jul 30, 2007 2:28 PM:

" and I hope some cute little crumb scratchers ruin some more of your days....because thats how God teaches.........DONT PRAY FOR PATIENCE FOOL.......you might not like what comes at you......LOL "

to WWJD wrote on Jul 30, 2007 2:25 PM:

" sorry Im not the parents, I just know how kids are.... "

to WWJD wrote on Jul 30, 2007 2:23 PM:

" and maybe your Tyler. "

to WWJD wrote on Jul 30, 2007 2:22 PM:

" Im glad Im not your kid, shame and humiliation are not learning tools and my grammer....stick it in your blow hole. "

WWJD? wrote on Jul 30, 2007 12:06 PM:

" First, I think JESUS would learn to spell and use grammar (I imagine he was fairly intelligent). And then I think Jesus would be disappointed to see his children being so cruel to others by allowing their kids to scream in terror. Good for Tyler and his wife for using the voices God gave them to stand up for what's right. Patience is one thing, but tolerating inappropriate behavior while it's making people miserable (the parents, the screaming children, the other guests, the other children) isn't the same as patience. It sounds like Tyler gave this family plenty of chances to address their children in a loving way (take them into the hall, for example) but when people choose to only care about themselves, someone should stand up for the people they are trampling all over. He says that he expected some child chatter - but chatter is a whole lot different than screaming children. All of the idiots on here who are attacking Tyler for standing up should ask themselves how they'd feel if they personally spent good money for their family to go and instead of having their children enjoy the show, they got to listen to one family scream and yell throughout the performance. That's not fair, and anyone who thinks that's fair also shouldn't be allowed to breed. I hope that family does read this and DOES feel humiliated. They should. And maybe this will remind the other pea-brained parents out there to consider others when their family thinks it's OK to complete ruin an experience for everyone around them. We've all been in a situation like this - and if you can't admit that you've complained about such rude people - you're a liar (or maybe the person we're complaining about). "

On Tyler's side wrote on Jul 30, 2007 11:56 AM:

" I see this families sort of behavior daily. I like kids, got a couple of my own, even - and if they were acting like this families kids, I would've removed them from the scene (and have, in the past). I am very tired of people ruining things for others in an attempt to pacify their demon-spawn offspring. "

haha wrote on Jul 30, 2007 9:11 AM:

" maybe tyler shouldent breed "

what a shame wrote on Jul 29, 2007 4:23 PM:

" Your points of inconsideration for others has been ever so bluntly stated. It is sad though how you feel the need to attack these people in the paper, you in my book are no better than they. What surprises me most though is how you are able to be an employee for the press and do this. You have no right what so ever to tell another family they cannot or should not breed. "

OH my wrote on Jul 29, 2007 2:38 PM:

" and one mare thing I cant believe you wrote an article about it and ridiculed them even more.....you make me sick,and to think I used to think you had class "

OH my wrote on Jul 29, 2007 2:31 PM:

" WOW, from reading your article I think Tyler you have no kids and If you do your day is coming when a child is freaked out by something they love.... DO YOU and you wife realize what idiots you must have looked like yelling at those poor kids parents? They may have been showing their children and AND YOU AND YOUR WIFE patients and you failed to see it because you have none. YOU AND YOUR WIFE ARE SO SELF ABSORBED.....YOU FAILED TO SEE A TRUE LESSON IN LIFE.....WWJD.......not what you did. "

CarrieB wrote on Jul 28, 2007 6:47 PM:

" I feel for your situation, it must of been very frustrating. However, reading your article and how irritated and angry you seem, it makes me feel for that family. They may read this article and will surely know you are referring to them and it is only more humiliation. They may have no parenting skills and with out a doubt need help. However; what lessons are you teaching your children by using your position to publicly humiliate them. After all they can't be horrible parents, they did try to share a great experience with their children, one of which most of us couldn't afford to share with our children. I hope they get help with their parenting skills and I hope you learn to have patience in our very "Not Perfect" world. "

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