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| Marty Fortier |
If you read a story involving transients, high speed car chases, BMWs and Mercedes-Benzes, what would come to mind? Los Angeles right? After all, Southern California is the high-speed car chase capital of the World, and Beemers and Benzes are outnumbered only by the myriad of beggars standing on freeway onramps.
Yeah, so?
Well, the "yeah, so" of it is that this prototypical So. Cal. story happened between Post Falls and Coeur d'Alene. That's right. Recently a Cd'A transient led police on a 125-mph chase from Post Falls to Northwest Boulevard. Reportedly the transient was driving a BMW with doctored license plates, he was swerving all over the road, passing on the right and darn near hit a black Mercedes-Benz.
Come on, this is North Idaho. A guy steals a Beemer and almost hits a Benz. Are you telling me that throughout this entire car chase he didn't come across a single Chevy pickup with a gun rack or an old Ford Pinto station wagon mobile meth lab? What the hell has happened to this place? Is there really a Porsche dealer on the 95? I'll have to check the archives, but I'm pretty sure I've made a comment that went something like this: "Yeah right, field burning will be outlawed on the prairie when a Porsche dealership comes to Liberty Lake."
And if you're saying to yourself, "Come on Marty, don't be a jackass. A homeless guy in a BMW is just an anomaly. It's not like that's the norm around here." Oh really. Have you seen what's going on with the housing market? Just where do you think all of the former Realtors are going to sleep?
Don't kid yourself folks. The boom times are over, the real estate market is cooling off rapidly, and hundreds of agents will be out on the streets. That's the bad news. The good news is that George Gee will have a large pool of salespeople familiar with luxury cars to choose from. And what's the perfect accessory to a multi-million dollar lakefront home? That's right, a brand new Porsche! So don't get "down" former real estate agents, grab your Rolodex and get over to Liberty Lake. Those cars are more expensive than most homes anyway.
Yes, whether you like it or not, transients, high-speed chases and German luxury cars have come to North Idaho. We're close people, we're very close. A few less trees, a little more smog, a drive-by shooting or two, and billboards in Spanish, and BAM! -- we've made it.
Marty Fortier barely escaped a lifetime sentence in the cutthroat world of big city advertising and marketing. He currently operates a business, writes, and referees his children's fights from his home office somewhere in North Idaho. Marty Fortier can be reached at: mbfortier@icehouse.net.
